Operation: WARPED
by ShadowedTactician
Summary: [Complete] A completely random random insanity fanfiction written by a guy who hadn't seen a single episode of Kids Next Door when he started off. We thank your for your kind attention.
1. Prologue: Back to Basics

Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. 

I do not own Kids Next Door or Pokemon (the names, anyway). I do own Team Eeveeon. 

**W**hat **A** **R**eally **P**eculiar **E**pic **D**ocument 

Prologue: Back to Basics 

Umbreon: Yo, people. It's been a year or so since I last accessed this lovely site, and much longer since I last posted a fic here. Well, I'm back from the dead which I have risen from! Bwahahahahaha! (regains composure) Ahem. And now I bring to you my first Kids Next Door fanfic!   
Vaporeon: And how are you gonna do that?   
Jolteon: You've never watched a single episode of Kids Next Door.   
Umbreon: Hey, is it my fault I live in Singapore where KND ain't available? Besides, I've collected enough information from CartoonNetwork.com and a few of the fanfics around here, thanks to ** Numbuh 6, Ookami No Shinpi, and Dynasty San** especially.   
Espeon: Well, I do hope you're not as twisted as them.   
Umbreon: Calm down, my brother. We just need to confirm a bit of stuff with the real deal, then we're ready to go.   
Flareon: What? You mean this isn't the first chapter?   
Umbreon: No, this is a prologue, dimwit. Ever heard of a prologue? I have to confirm a few facts with the KND, before we let my imagination take its fancy and comes up with the first thing it... comes up with. 

*Enter the KND* 

Flareon: This is the Kids Next Door?   
Umbreon: Yep. Now, lemme check a few things before we continue. Numbuh 1, Nigel Uno, the commander of the team.   
Numbuh 1: Present.   
Umbreon: Numbuh 2, Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr., the aviator and inventor.   
Numbuh 2: Present.   
Umbreon: Numbuh 3, Kuki Sanban, *suddenly* DUCK!!! *ducks*   
Team Eeveeon: Duck?   
The rest of Team Eeveeon soon discover the reason for Umbreon's sudden shout as they are snowballed by a girl wearing a large, green shirt swinging from a light above.   
*PLADOOF*   
Numbuh 3: Rainbow Monkeys!   
Umbreon: I guess that means she's present.   
Team Eeveeon: You can say that again!   
Umbreon: I guess that means she's present.   
Team Eeveeon: *groan*   
Umbreon: Numbuh 4, Wallabee Beatles, the "Tough Kid".   
Numbuh 4: Present.   
Umbreon: And last but not least, Numbuh 5, Abigail "Abby" Lincoln, the spy and the "Quiet One."   
Numbuh 5: Present.   
Flareon: Hey, how did you get their names anyway?   
Umbreon: CartoonNetwork.com, of course.   
Jolteon: Strange, they look kinda familiar...   
Umbreon: That's because they ARE familiar, Jolteon. Remember that "What A Cartoon Show" message where four kids initiate a countdown?   
Team Eeveeon: Ah... enlightenment.   
Umbreon: Now... Let's go through the finer details, shall we...? Nigel is a Brit; Hoagie is American; Kuki is Japanese; Wallabee is Australian; Abby is Afro-American but was born in France.   
Vaporeon: *whispers to Espeon* He actually did research on this?!   
Umbreon: The KND inventory include the S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R (Solid Pinewood Loaded Artillery Nicely Kicks Enemy Rear), the T.O.A.S.T.I.E. (Turns On Assorted Stuff That Is Electrical), the P.I.P.E.R. (Phone In Pipe Emergency Radio) and several other wickedly interesting gadgets...   
Kids Next Door: Hear, hear!   
Umbreon: They have been featured in about 80 fanfics so far on fanfiction.net, mostly action, romance and parody fics.   
Espeon: Someone's been using the computer too much, I see...   
Umbreon: ...of which the one with the most reviews is Operation T.R.U.E. L.E.A.D.U.H., which has received over 300 reviews, written by Ookami No Shinpi, one of the best authors so far, also including Numbuh 6 (also known as Jessie A, as if you didn't know that by now), Dynasty San, et cetera, et cetera...   
Jolteon: I hate to agree with you, Espy, but you may be right...   
Espeon: Don't call me that!   
Numbuh 3: Espy! Espy! Espy!   
Espeon: Grr...   
Umbreon: According to these sources, most of the romance fics often include pairings of Numbuh 1 with Numbuh 5, and Numbuh 3 with Numbuh 4 -- but also the occassional same-sex pairing.   
Kids Next Door: Ewwwwww!   
Umbreon: Sources indicate among other things, that Numbuh 1 took a peek in Numbuh 5's drawer of underclothings...   
Team Eeveeon: WHAT?!   
Numbuh 5: You been raidin' Numbuh 5's panties, foo? *smacks Numbuh 1*   
Numbuh 1: Ouch! Of course not!   
Umbreon: Numbuh 2 has a crush on Jessie A...   
Numbuh 2: *blushes*   
Umbreon: ...though for the other way round I'm not so sure about that.   
Numbuh 2: Sigh...   
Umbreon: Jessie A is a fan of Eminem (hey, me too), Stone Cold Steve Austin (got to shake his hand, too) and Vice City. Ookami No Shinpi was formerly known as Melody Hoshi Sugar, and from I know, she likes anime. As for Dynasty San... I'm not sure whether I should disclose this... ah, just go see for yourself.   
Espeon: Why are you reading a dossier of authors?   
Umbreon: 'Cause they might be making entrances in this fic, and some others.   
Team Eeveeon: WHAT?!   
Umbreon: With their honoured permission, of course.   
Team Eeveeon: Phew...   
Umbreon: Ah well, I think that's it for now. Please read and review, and give me details, ideas, whatever -- it's not too easy writing a Kids Next Door fanfic if you haven't seen a single episode. (The credits has a guitar solo? Cool.) *mimicking Numbuh 5* You wanna keep that arm attached, yo betta R&R, yo? Just kidding...   
Numbah 5: HEY!!! 


	2. Chapter 1: Regi, Rayquaza and the RRIDM

Umbreon: I'd like to take this moment to thank the people who reviewed, and for the valuable information supplied. (Numbuh 2 has a little brother? Maybe he can be Numbuh 2.5, har har!) As for D-San, sorry for not including your interests, but now you have in your review, it's gonna make things a lot more easier, thanks. Actually, I don't think there's anything wrong with a bit of femmeslash, either...   
Espeon/Vaporeon: OH NO!   
Umbreon: Calm down, you two. Vaporeon, could you do the disclaimer, please?   
Vaporeon: Sure thing, Umbreon. (whispers)As long as you don't put Espeon and me in a femmeslash plot. (normal voice) *AHEM* Umbreon does not own Kids Next Door, Pokemon, the concept of the Dome of Doom (which was included in Samurai Jack, Episode 16) or Bart Simpson. *stares* Bart Simpson?   
Umbreon: *gives her an evil grin*   
Vaporeon: I have a bad feeling about this...   
Umbreon: Just finish the disclaimer.   
Vaporeon: He does own Team Eeveeon. *gulps* That's gotta be a bad sign.   
Umbreon: Aw, shut up. 

**Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. -- Chapter 1 **

Regi, Rayquaza, and the R.R.I.D.M. 

Vaporeon: Welcome, all sports fans to the Dome of Doom! I'm your friendly sports commentator, Vaporeon!   
Flareon: And I'm her co-assistant, Flareon!   
Vaporeon: Okay, Flareon! What an exciting line-up of events we have for today!   
Flareon: Right you are, Vaporeon! We here at Team Eeveeon Sports Committe have newly brought in a new bunch of combatants for the main event, but before that, we'll have a few starter events, shall we?   
Vaporeon: Yep! But before we have the commencement of the games, for the welfare of the audience, please listen to the follwing announcement.   
Jolteon: This is Jolteon, your friendly safety manager of the Team Eeveeon Sports Committee. In the quite likely event of an emergency, place your head between your legs and --   
Espeon: -- kiss your bum goodbye.   
Jolteon: Also take note to locate the closest exit from where you are sitting, and refer to your pamphlet on how to use the oxygen tanks, infra-red goggles, gas masks, sick bags, et cetera.   
Vaporeon: Thank you Jolteon, that was wonderful, as usual. Now we await Umbreon to sound the commencement gong! 

The camera focuses on Umbreon, who has a humongous mallet in his hand, and is standing next a metre-long gong.   
*SWING*   
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!!!! 

  
Vaporeon: Whew! That went off with a bang, ha ha!   
Flareon: Talk about sounding it off, ha ha!   
Vaporeon: And now we have the first event, the elemental faceoff! Today we bring you Team Tesla and Team Arctic!   
Flareon: Yep! In this corner of the arena, we have Maxine Manectric, Elton Electabuzz, Ashton Ampharos, and their leader, Rika Raichu!   
Vaporeon: In the other side of the arena, we have Gloria Glalie, Jessica Jynx, Paul Piloswine, and their chairman, Watson Walrein!   
Flareon: Combatants -- ready, set, go! 

Meanwhile, in an underground chamber...   
Numbuh 1: This is it, team -- here we are, stuck in another fanfic, suffering the whims of another lunatic author!   
Numbuh 5: Numbuh 5 thinks this ain't good.   
Numbuh 4: Ah say we get in there, and pound the tomato juice out of them!   
Numbuh 3: Wheeee! Rainbow Monkeys!   
Numbuh 1: I say we come up with a plan -- and I think I've got an idea!   
The KND huddles around Numbuh 1 to hear his idea. 

Meanwhile...   
Vaporeon: And that concludes today's Elemental Faceoff Round. Team Tesla won hands down; they had the type advantage!   
Flareon: Uh-huh, you got that right, Vaporeon! Now are we ready for the all-out Pokemon melee?   
Vaporeon: Yep, but first, we'll take a moment off for a commercial from one of our sponsors, Bart Simpson's Medical Service!   
Bart: If all else fails, take two aspirin, and call me in the morning, man.   
Vaporeon: Thank you Bart, that was beautiful. Now, for today we have Electrode United versus the Weezing Squad! I say we're in for an explosive time!   
No sooner than Vaporeon finishes the arena is filled with deranged screams, huge explosions and gas fumes.   
Vaporeon: Audience, please use the oxygen tanks and gas masks under your seats. Remain in your seats until the emergency siren has been turned off. Thank you. 

5 minutes later...   
Vaporeon: We'll send in our Pidgey Smoke Clearing system to suss out the smoke, but before we do, we'll just give you a little overview of today's main event, which is only moments away!   
Flareon: Yup -- today we have a team of unfortunate ten-year-olds, specially invited by Umbreon, our chairman, known as the Kids Next Door, who will face off one of our strongest teams, known to the public as Team R! Hm, wonder what that means!   
Vaporeon: It'll be good, alright! We've word from Umbreon that this team cost him at least a hundred Ultra Balls! Now that's tragic!   
Flareon: We're just seconds away from the main event! We'll just wait for our emergency crew to clear up the mess in the arena, and while they're doing that, we bring to you a message from another of our sponsors, Jumbo Squishees! 

Meanwhile, down in the chamber where the Kids Next Door are held "captive"...   
Espeon: *unlocking door* Okay, Kids, step this way.   
Espeon brings the KND to an elevator, and soon they are on their way into the arena...   
Vaporeon: Now, ladies and gentlemen, place your hands together for our combatants of the main event!   
Flareon: On this side, we have the specially invited Kids Next Door, starring Abigail Lincoln, Wallabee Beatles, Kuki Sanban, Hoagie P. Gilligan Junior and their leader, Nigel Uno!   
Vaporeon: On that side, is the legendary, lethal, Team 'R'! Comprising of the legendary three Regi, namely Regirock, Regice and Registeel, and their leader, Rayquaza, all the way from Sky Pillar! 

Meanwhile, at the bottom of the arena...   
Numbuh 1: This is it, team! Those guys are bigger than us, stronger than us, and veterans of this fighting sport! But we'll go in there, like a team --   
Numbuh 4: -- and go kick some butt!   
Whhht-whhht-whhht! Within 3 seconds, the Kids Next Door whip out their weapons.   
Flareon: It looks like it's gonna be a one-sided battle, Vaporeon! Can you give the audience some information on these hardy 10-year-olds?   
Vaporeon: No sooner than you think, Flareon! These kids, though small, are as tough as nails, with supreme speed, clever tactics, and not to mention a whole array of tech gear!   
Flareon: Tech gear? You mean the stuff their wielding right now?   
Vaporeon: You got that right, Flareon! Nigel's got his newly-invented P.L.A.S.M.A. (Pyroblasting Laser Annihilative Scorcher Machine Arsenal), Hoagie's equipped with a flying D.R.O.N.E. (Destructive Robot On Nuking Expedition), Kuki's got a T.A.R.T. (Terribly Attractive Robotic Teddy), Wally's holding a B.U.B.B.L.E. (Blaster Utilising Ballistic Bubblegum with Lethal Ejection), and Abby's armed with a S.T.O.N.E. (Stonegun That Omits Nearly Everything)!   
Flareon: Whoa! That's really cool, Vaporeon! And now it looks like they're going to fight!   
Numbuh 1: Kids Next Door. Battle stations!   
With that, the KND leap into the air, beginning to launch their various attacks at Team R. As the three Regi of rock, steel and ice began to move, the respective weapons are fired. Numbuh 1, 2, 4 and 5 fire their guns, while Numbuh 3, in her T.A.R.T., begins to throw teddy bear missiles at Rayquaza. The three Regi, however, appear unhurt. Meanwhile, Rayquaza was still "playing" with Numbuh 3 and the T.A.R.T., throwing the teddy bear bombs back at the T.A.R.T. Suddenly, Rayquaza roared.   
The 3 Regi: Regi...!   
Vaporeon: The fight's turning out to be great, Flareon! Those kids have got impressive weapons, courtesy of Hoagie, their inventor, but I think our boys' have the advantage today, with their astoundingly high defence statistics!   
Flareon: I think you're right, Vaporeon! The KND are putting up a great offence, but look!   
The 3 Regi: Regiregiregi! (Ancient Power!)   
The KND soon scatter as a barrage of rocks fall from above, nearly squishing them like ants.   
Numbuh 1: Numbuh 3! Attack that rock guy; Numbuh 5, take the robot-like thing; Numbuh 4 will take the green dragon, and Numbuh 2 will attack from above. I'll take Iceman!   
With that, the KND pick their targets, and soon the audience is roaring.   
Vaporeon: What an excitement, folks! Those kids are really giving it all they've got!   
Suddenly, the audience gasps. Numbuh 1 was firing his lasers at Regice, while dodging the continuous blizzard blasts, and had scorched a few small holes through the icy monster, which collapsed on the field.   
Flareon: A great move by Nigel Uno! The Kids Next Door are first to reach the scoreboard, with a one-point advantage!   
Numbuh 5, meanwhile, was firing stone missiles at Registeel. "Numbuh 5's got a idea, yo." With that, she fired directly at the raging robot's feet, which tripped, and fell foul to Numbuh 5's barrage of boulders.   
Vaporeon: Flareon, I don't believe it! That's two in a row for the KND! Could it be beginners' luck? Are our boys overconfident? I dunno, but I hope our camera crew are getting good close-ups -- these kids are good!   
Numbuh 3 was having a game of tag with Regirock, by running around the arena, with Regirock close behind. Unfortunately for Regirock, its speed gave it the disadvantage -- and a sudden barrage of teddy bears made it out for the count.   
Numbuh 1: Numbuh 3! You okay!   
Numbuh 3: *giggling* Rainbow Monkeys!   
Numbuh 5: Numbuh 1! Look!   
Numbuh 1: Oh no! Numbuh 4!   
Numbuh 4 was trapped in a corner of the arena. Though splattered all over in multi-flavoured bubble gum, Rayquaza geared its head for a Hyper Beam attack, when -- KABOOM! Numbuh 2 had fired his guns at Rayquaza's mouth, causing the energy ball in its mouth to explode. Rayquaza fell, out cold.   
Vaporeon: Unbelievable, people! The KND have defeated our home team, Team R, and --   
*BRADABOOM!* Through the main door of the arena stands a purple, multi-limbed robot. In its cockpit are a group of children with sky-blue eyes.   
Flareon: What was that? The main door has collapsed!   
Umbreon: *appearing behind them* Oh, those are the D.C.F.D.T.L. (Delightful Children From Down The Lane), blast it. They're the Kids Next Door's greatest enemies.   
Vaporeon: Exactly how much time did you spend using the computer?   
Umbreon: A lot.   
Flareon: What the heck is that thing?   
Umbreon: The Really Really Incredible Destruction Machine. (R.R.I.D.M.) When it comes to creating acronyms for their weapons, the D.C.F.D.T.L. aren't as good as the Kids.   
DCFDTL: We heard that! We're here for the KND, and we'll destroy you as well! *monotonous chuckle*   
Vaporeon: Ick, they're starting to scare me.   
Espeon: What do we do now?   
Umbreon: The KND are tired after that violent event. As hosts, it's our duty to protect our guests -- otherwise this could be our last chapter.   
Jolteon: Sounds good to me! Let's plow into it!   
Umbreon: Wait. *throws out two Pokeballs* Della, Alex, would you so kind as to subsitute us for the moment?   
Delcatty: Okay, Umbreon.   
Alakazam: You can count on us!   
Umbreon: Right! Team Eeveeon. BATTLE STATIONS!   
Numbuh 1: Hey! That's our line! 

Delcatty: *grabbing microphone* Sorry, all sports fans, for that rude interruption. It appears that the Delightful Children From Down The Lane, also known as the DCFDTL, have gatecrashed our Dome of Doom in a bid to destroy our guests-of-honour, the Kids Next Door!   
Alakazam: That's right, Dell, but luckily our Sports Committee is seeing to it that these filthy intruders buzz off! Right now they're leaping into the arena, and the fight's gonna begin any moment!   
DCFDTL: You are no match for us. Fire! *throws a few trees*   
Flareon/Umbreon: Time to heat things up! Demon Flame! (combination of Flamethrower and Shadow Ball)   
*KAFWOOSH!* Suddenly, it begins to rain charcoal.   
Delcatty: Let's have a cheer for our Sports Committee and one of their award-winning combination attacks!   
Alakazam: Gotta agree with you there, Della -- nobody's beaten one of our Sports Committee's combo moves, all of which are devastatingly destructive! Let's see how these last-minute fighters fare against our boys!   
Espeon: *suddenly* Look! Floating mines!   
Vaporeon/Jolteon: Let's go -- Lightning River! (combination of Thunder and Hydro Pump)   
*BZZZTABOOM!* The floating mines disintegrate upon impact of the charged-up stream of water.   
Delcatty: Yep, Alex, I can say this gonna be another short, quick battle, and -- what was that?   
Everyone looks up to the skylight of the arena, and sees a humongous flying machine enter it.   
Team Eeveeon: ARGH! Whassat?   
Umbreon: It's the KND's flying machine -- the M.O.S.Q.U.I.T.T.O.H. (Massively Oversized Super Quick Undercover Icy Treat Transport On Helio-Jets).   
Numbuh 1: Kids Next Door. Battle stations!   
Suddenly, the M.O.S.Q.U.I.T.T.O.H. starts firing ballistic ice-cream ammunition missiles at the R.R.I.D.M.   
DCFDTL: ARGH! Retreat! *scuttle away in R.R.I.D.M.*   
Delcatty: And that, folks, ends today's session in the Dome of Doom. We thank you! 

Yeah, that pretty much sums up the first chapter. Pretty insane, pretty cool, and kinda stupid, :P. R&R, please, and keep those ideas coming in, thanks! 


	3. Chapter 2: TBBB1 Prepare For TAKEOFF

Over the hills and far away, Teletubbies come to play.   
One...   
Tinky Winky: One!   
Two...   
Dipsy: Two!   
Three...   
Laa Laa: Thwee!   
Fou--   
*PIU* 

Umbreon: Remind me never to let Numbuh 3 near the television for the rest of this chapter.   
Jolteon: Never let Numbuh 3 near the television for the rest of this chapter.   
Umbreon: Thank you, Jolteon. Now, could you do the disclaimer, please?   
Jolteon: Fine, fine, fine. Umbreon doesn't own anything. Except for Team Eeveeon, and... The Biosphere Battlefield? You're not going to-   
Umbreon: Shhh... You'll give the game away. 

**Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. **

Chapter 2: The Biosphere Battlefield Bashup (Part I) 

Prepare for T.A.K.E.O.F.F. 

Umbreon: Kids Next Door, today I require you to get ready for another mission, for you will be taking part in another of our experiments.   
Numbuh 4: Oh yeah? Says who?   
Umbreon: Us and all the people who reviewed. Would you rather face the wrath of Dynasty San, Jessie A and some others?   
Numbuh 4: *grumbles*   
Umbreon: Now, Kids, step this way, please.   
Numbuh 3: Goody! Are we going to another Candy Room?   
Umbreon: Well, it's something like that. *sniggers*   
Later, the Kids follow Team Eeveeon into a huge room filled with a humongous screen covering three-quarters of one wall, with a computerised system of buttons and levers under it. The other side of the room has a pair of cylindric perspex chambers complete with control panel.   
Umbreon: Now, Kids, please step into this chamber. *points to a chamber*   
Numbuh 1: Very well, but what are you going to do?   
Umbreon: You'll see. *waits until all five are inside the chamber* Espeon, upload the map and confirm the coordinates.   
Espeon: Roger. Initiating map, confirming coordinates... the position for the T.A.K.E.O.F.F. (Telepathy-Aided Kinetic Equipment Of Fantastic Facilitation) destination is confirmed at 100% accuracy rating.   
Umbreon: Jolteon?   
Jolteon: All clear for transportation to point 342314, Zone C, The Biosphere Battlefield. Awaiting instructions.   
Numbuh 2: The what?   
Numbuh 5: Numbuh 5 don't like the sound of this.   
Umbreon: Flareon?   
Flareon: Tube 1 clear for telekinetic transportation sequence, over!   
Umbreon: Alright. Vaporeon, now!   
Vaporeon nods and quickly presses a significantly big button on the control panel below the humongous screen. Instantly, the room is plunged into a bright light, which comes from the two chambers.   
Umbreon: Bye, Kids Next Door! We'll be monitoring you from this control centre, and good luck!   
Numbuh 1: Hey, waaaaaaaaaai- *zip* 

Vaporeon: Umbreon, now that we've transferred the kids to the Biosphere Battlefield, what are you going to do?   
Jolteon: Yeah, the last time you sent someone to the Biosphere Battlefield, we never saw them again, and all that was left was a few mouldy bones.   
Umbreon: Relax, my brothers and sisters, the kids will turn out absolutely fine. This experiment is to test out another ingenious theory I had yesterday--   
Espeon: Since when did you have any ingenious theories?   
Umbreon: Aw, shut up. Anyway, it has come to my attention that among the Kids Next Door's most dangerous enemies, there are two of them, of which according to my theory will become a deadly duo if they should join forces.   
Flareon: And who might those be in question?   
Umbreon: Stickybeard, the pirate with a sweet tooth, and Grandma Stuffum. Stickybeard and his henchmen, Chewy and Gooey, I've heard, once tried to eat the whole lot of the Kids' candy. As for Grandma Stuffum and her sidekicks, Liver and Onions, they're always trying to make people eat their disgusting foods. I've reason to believe she's been responsible for several cases of indigestion epidemics in grade schools over there in the U.S.A. (Author's Note: Well you would have indigestion if you took any food from her, right?)   
Vaporeon: So where are they?   
Umbreon: Grandma Stuffum will be coming along any moment. Stickybeard said he would be a bit late; he phoned to say that his cabin boys discovered an ice-cream parlour nearby in desperate need of raiding.   
Flareon: And how will we know if she's here?   
Umbreon: You don't have to worry. She's always wielding her trusty bowl and spoon, walking around, looking for kids to stuff with her disgusting feed, saying --   
Voice from doorway: Oooh, skinny rabbit. You need to eat!   
Umbreon: Who said that?! I am by no means at all a rabbi--!!   
Everyone backs away from the door to see an enormous old woman holding a bowl of I-don't-wanna-know-what-it-is and a wooden spoon. Standing by her is a pair of onions with faces and a stomach-like thing that looked like it escaped from the abbattoir.   
Flareon: Oh, sweet mother of juppie!   
Espeon: Reminds you Anne the First of Stuart England, don't you think?   
Umbreon: Liver? Hm, I once mashed one from a chicken mixed in hydrogen peroxide in biology class.   
Jolteon: You did what?   
Vaporeon: Everybody quit yapping and RUN FOR YOUR STOMACHS!   
Grandma Stuffum: Come back, rabbits, you have to eat!   
SPLAT!   
Vaporeon: Tomato flavoured tofu?! EWWWW!!!   
Umbreon: Rabbits? Nobody calls us rabbits! Espeon! Use your Hypnosis attack!   
Espeon: Affirmative! *stares*   
Grandma Stuffum/Liver/Onions: Zzzzzz...   
Umbreon: Whew! Now let's shove 'em into the teleportation chamber.   
Voice: Ahoy, me hearties!   
Umbreon: Ah, that must be Stickybeard. So, how was today's raid?   
Stickybeard: Brilliant, me laddie!   
Umbreon: Really, don't you ever get sugar high or something?   
Stickybeard: Laddie, I've been eating candy all me life. I can't get sugar high.   
Umbreon: Which is just as well, because today you'll have almost all the candy you can eat. But I hope you've stocked enough stuff in your ship to last you, because you may be staying for a month at where you're going.   
Vaporeon: *whisper* Nah, he'd probably live off his body fats.   
Jolteon: Hey, I need someone to help me shove this fat circus lady in tube number 1!   
Flareon: Right!   
After half an hour of shifting, shuffling and shoving...   
Flareon: Whew, job done. I still wish you had been helping us with your psychic powers, Espy, I can hardly move my tail!   
Espeon: I'm busy with the control panel, dimwit. And don't call me Espy, or I'll send you to join the KND.   
Vaporeon: Well, I've loaded Stickybeard and company into tube 2 -- not to mention his shipload of junk food. Ouch.   
Flareon: Speaking of food, where did you throw those sorry seasoning sidekicks anyway?   
Jolteon: I threw them in the tube before Stuffum, why?   
Flareon: Never mind -- I'm feeling sorry for those poor pinheads already.   
Umbreon: Alright, Eeveeons. Let's go through the routine again, shall we? 

Umbreon: And now, a Cartoon Network fashion tip from Joe Rockhead.   
Joe Rockhead: Find a look you're comfortable in and stick with it. Forever.   
Umbreon: Thanks Joe. 

Meanwhile, in the Biosphere Battlefield...   
Numbuh 1: Hm. An entire battle zone, World War One theme, complete with sandbags, barbed wire, and several dugouts. What could all this mean?   
Numbuh 4: Ah don't know, but what Ah do know, is that _this_ hole, is absolutely filled to tha brim with...   
Numbuh 3: Candy! Wheeeeeeee!   
Numbuh 2: Whoopee! No more feasts from Grandma Stuffum! *shudders at the thought, remembering what Jessie A once did to him (see Operation B.A.B.I.E.S., Chapter 8, by Numbuh 6)*   
Numbuh's 2, 3 and 4 happily move in to feast on the pile of junk food. Numbuh 4 stuffs a jawbreaker in his mouth two times the size of his little head, Numbuh 2 is sucking on a candy cane, and Numbuh 3 is blissfully swimming in a tub of konnyaku jelly. (A type of jelly from Japan for those who don't know -- absolutely delicious! ^_^) 

In the Control Room of the T.A.K.E.O.F.F., Team Eeveeon is monitoring the Kids. On the main screen is an image of Numbuh 5 sitting next to Numbuh 1. The team watches as Numbuh 5 offers Numbuh 1 a pack of jellybeans.   
Umbreon: One, two, three...   
Team Eeveeon: Aw...   
Umbreon: I always knew those two had something for each other.   
Vaporeon: So, when are those fatheads going to arrive in the Battlefield?   
Umbreon: Hm, I'm not that sure. Judging by their technical mass... 

Numbuh 5: Whassamatta Numbuh 1? Don't you want any candy? 

Umbreon: Not to mention the electromagnetic spectrum of the fourth-dimensional highway... 

Numbuh 1: Thanks, Numbuh 5, but no thanks. 

Umbreon: Also considering the possibilities of physical obstacles they may meet during the translocation... 

Numbuh 5: Is something wrong, Numbuh 1? *thinking* He looks so cute in those shades... 

Umbreon: I should say that they reach the Biosphere Battlefield right about... 

Numbuh 1: Well, Numbuh 5, it's just... *blushes slightly* 

Umbreon: ...now.   
At that freak moment, two beams of light shoot from the sky where the Kids Next Door are into a dugout about forty metres away.   
Numbuh 3: What was that?   
Grandma Stuffum: Ooooh, skinny children. You need to eat!   
Numbuh 2: *shocked* It can't be!   
Numbuh 4: It just CAN'T be!   
Numbuh 5: But... it is!   
Kids Next Door: It's GRANDMA STUFFUM!!!   
Dun dun dun...! 

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

Fine. So I couldn't resist a bit of Numbuh 1 and 5 romance. Sue me. 

Anyway... this new experiment will take about 3 chapters, instead of just two. Paiseh. (Paiseh means "sorry" in Hokkien, a Chinese dialect.) Team Eeveeon is still waiting for an applicant to save the Kids Next Door in this experiment... First come first served, remember. Also please remember to include any further details you want me to add, and keep those reviews coming in! Thank you all! 

-- Umbreon and Team Eeveeon 


	4. Chapter 3: TBBB2 Sugar Shortage

Umbreon: Well, we've got our application, and it happens to be Numbuh 6, or Jessie A. No offence, but I was hoping for Dynasty San to make her entrance. I suppose these coffee-coated chocolate beans will have to wait for later.   
Vaporeon: That's nice, Umbreon, but the thing is... she asked for _chocolate-coated coffee beans_.   
Umbreon: What?! Dang. Well, I suppose we'll have to eat these instead. Care to join me, gang?   
Team Eeveeon: Yeah!   
Umbreon: Just a moment. *looks at readers* I don't own anything. Except Team Eeveeon, their little clubhouse, the T.A.K.E.O.F.F. (Telepathy-Aided Kinetic Equipment Of Fantastic Facilitation), this control room, the Biosphere Battlefield, and for now, this bag of coffee-coated chocolate beans. Ah heh heh heh... 

** Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. **

Chapter 3: The Biosphere Battlefield Bashup (Part II) 

Sugar Shortage   
Umbreon: We now, chew, return back to where we left the Kids Next Door in the last chapter, munch. It appears that our experiment is, munch, going as smooth as silk; Grandma Stuffum and her henchmen have arrived safely in the Biosphere Battlefield, chomp. Stickybeard and company have arrived as well, chew, but well out of vision of the Kids Next Door, munch. Exactly as I planned it, har har, chomp.   
Espeon: Hey, stop hogging the beans, Umbreon!   
Flareon: Yeah, save some for us!   
Umbreon: Oops. Paiseh. Time to check on their situation, people.   
  
Meanwhile, in a candy-loaded dugout in the Biosphere Battlefield...   
Numbuh 5: What do we do now, Numbuh 1?   
As Numbuh 5 speaks, Numbuh 1 spots some flying spots headed for them.   
Numbuh 1: GET DOWN! It's raining brussel sprout tofu!   
The kids respond quickly, but they still can't escape a sorry splattering of Grandma Stuffum's Sprout Surprise.   
Numbuh 3: Yuck! There's tofu in the konnyaku jelly!   
Numbuh 1: Kids Next Door. Battle stations!   
The kids immediately get to repelling the madwoman and her shower of sprouts and goodness-knows-what. Numbuh 1 and Numbuh 5 help Numbuh 2 load his R.I.F.L.E. (Repels Intruders For Lethal Emergencies) with candy, while Numbuh 4 and Numbuh 3 fling junk food back at Grandma Stuffum.   
Numbuh 4: Yah! Death to tofu!   
Grandma Stuffum, in fact, is loading _her_ little military gadget -- the C.A.N.N.O.N. (Contains A Noxious Node of Nosh), with lots of her nasty gruel. The Kids respond just as valiantly. Pretty soon, Stuffum's dugout begins to fill with candy canes, jellybeans and marshmallows -- all which were repelled by Grandma Stuffum's spinning spoon.   
Grandma Stuffum: You sure they'll come here eventually? They have to eat, you know.   
Stickybeard: Ar, they'll have to come. They'll run out of candy sooner or later, and there's enough to last the seven of us.   
Grandma Stuffum: Just keep down like that skinny rabbit (Umbreon at this point shouted, "I AM NOT A RABBIT!!!") told you to. By the way, are you sure those two (points to Chewy and Gooey) don't want any of my Sprout Surprise? They look very skinny to me.   
Stickybeard: Missus, they've eaten candy all their lives. They won't eat anything else. Besides, nothing could taste better than this candy. *chews on a candy cane*   
  
Three hours later...   
Numbuh 1: We've been throwing candy for the past three hours, and Stuffum's showing no sign of wearing down! What's going on out there?   
Grandma Stuffum: I'm happy you asked, child. For right here with me is someone who has been eating your candy all this time! Come up and say hello, captain!   
Suddenly, a person wearing a pirate's hat, a parrot on his shoulder and has a medium-sized orange beard appears. (Author's Note: Paiseh if I got the description wrong -- I don't watch Spongebob Squarepants.)   
  
Captain: Are you ready kids?   
Background: Aye aye Captain!   
Captain: I can't hear you!   
Background: AYE AYE CAPTAIN!   
Captain: Ooooooooo... Who lives in a pineapple under th--*ZIP* 

Umbreon: Oops. Wrong captain. 

Stickybeard emerges from the dugout besides Grandma Stuffum.   
Kids Next Door: STICKYBEARD!   
Stickybeard: Aye, Kids! Thanks for all the free candy! Har har har!   
Numbuh 1: Why, you-!! Kids Next Door. Bat--   
Numbuh 1's order is cut short as he spies another storm of nasty nosh coming their way.   
Numbuh 1: --FALL BACK! 

Meanwhile, back in Team Eeveeon's control room...   
Vaporeon: So, has the informatic application come through yet?   
Umbreon: Yep, it's coming through. Once I've gotten the information confirmed, we can upload it on the computer for future references, since this is not going to be the last time she's making an entrance... and it's also for her to confirm later on. Ah, there it is now! 

**The Team Eeveeon A.R.C.H.I.V.E. (A Regally Computerised Holder of Information, Very Efficient), Individual Division   
Subject Identity:** Jessie A   
**Other known Identities:** Rabbit, Numbuh 6   
**Appearance:** Fourteen year old Mexican girl, short black hair, brown eyes, skinny figure   
**Known favourites**: Stone Cold Steve Austin, Eminem, Numbuh 2   
**Known hates:** The Hoe Squad, The Delightful Children from Down The Lane   
**Known interests:** Writing, drawing, playing Vice City   
**Known non-interests:** Being in anger management and boot camp   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Cannon Blaster, staff, baseball bat, werewolf powers   
**Known weaknesses:** Music (especially Eminem), Stone Cold Steve Austin, Vice City, watching Crank Yankers, strawberries   
**Any other useful information:** Really likes Numbuh 2. A student at Hogwarts school of wizardry with the occasional evil tendency. 

Umbreon: Uh-huh, everything's going real fine. Now, let's check on the Kids, shall we? 

Meanwhile, the Kids Next Door have used up most of their candy ammunition. All that is left is a small box of ice-cream cakes, three jawbreakers, and two arm-sized candy canes. The Kids are beginning to suffer the effects of being deprived of sugar. Numbuh 1 had strictly rationed the remaining ammuntion for food, but not even he can hold forever...   
Numbuh 3: *lying deliriously on ground* Sugar... Need sugar... Mommy...   
Numbuh 1: They can't hold out forever. Then again, neither can we...   
Numbuh 2: What are we going to do? We're not going to eat that *points to the Sprout Surpise on floor*, are we? *shudders*   
Numbuh 5: What's going to happen to us?   
Numbuh 4: Damn Umbreon... On the other side of the field, Stickybeard are still munching through what the Kids Next Door has fired over to them. Grandma Stuffum is still loading her C.A.N.N.O.N., but not as furiously as before. 

Numbuh 3: Ooooooooooohhhh...   
Numbuh 4: Numbuh 3?!   
Numbuh 3: Mommy... Help me...   
Numbuh 4: Don't worry Numbuh 3... Ah'm here...   
Numbuh 3: Nu... Numbuh 4...   
Numbuh 4: Yes? Yes?   
Numbuh 3: Numbuh 4... I'm scared...   
Numbuh 4: Don't worry... Ah won't let anything happen to you...   
Numbuh 3: *gazes* Really?   
Numbuh 4: Promise.   
Numbuh 3: Numbuh 4?   
Numbuh 4: Yes?   
Numbuh 3: I... I... *begins to blush slightly*   
Numbuh 1: *suddenly* Everbody DUCK!   
Numbuh 5: Here we go again... 

Umbreon: Well, I feel sorry for them already. What about you, team?   
Vaporeon: I say we call Jessie in, A.S.A.P.   
Flareon: I second that!   
Espeon: I third that!   
Jolteon: I fou... oh, forget it.   
Umbreon: Right. I'll just give her a--eh?   
Umbreon is interrupted as the phone rings. He picks it up.   
Umbreon: Hello?   
Johnny Bravo: Hello 911 Emergency? There's a handsome guy in my house.   
Umbreon: Johnny?!?   
Johnny Bravo: Oh, wait a second, cancel that -- it's only me. *click*   
Umbreon: *mutters* Pinhead. *begins to dial Jessie A's number*   
Jessie A: Hello?   
Umbreon: Jessie A? It's time for your cue. Report to the Team Eeveeon Clubhouse A.S.A.P., and don't worry, the friendly security guard, Harry, will guide you in.   
Jessie A: Okay, bye! 

Suddenly, there is a knock on the door, and the door bursts open.   
Umbreon: Here already?   
Jessie: Prepare for trouble! *tries to mimic James* And make it double! *normal voice* Sheesh, it's just not the same without James, is it?   
Umbreon: Oh, nuts. I didn't ask for this Jessie. Lurch!!!   
Jessie: *gulps* Lurch?   
A lumbering clone of Frankenstein enters the control room.   
Lurch: You... called?   
Umbreon: Yes Lurch. Please get rid of this intruder immediately.   
Lurch: O... kay.   
Lurch picks Jessie up and drop-kicks her through the roof.   
Jessie: Looks like Jessie's blasting off agaaaaaaaaain--- *ting*   
Umbreon: Thank you Lurch.   
As Lurch lumbers off, a Mexican girl walks through the doorway. Actually, she's hanging from the hand of a growling Hariyama.   
Umbreon: Thank you Harry. Now put her down--   
CRASH!!!   
Umbreon: --gently. Sorry about that, Jessie A.   
Vaporeon: Now, please get into the tube...   
Jolteon: And don't forget this.   
Jessie: A... Burger King paper bag?   
Umbreon: Pass it to the KND. They might find it useful.   
Soon, Jessie A goes through the fourth-dimensional highway, headed for the Biosphere Battlefield.   
Umbreon: Okay, gang. Now we need to fix that roof... 

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

Fine, so my attempts at romance failed miserably. Kinda. Well, stay tuned for the next exciting instalment, people, and don't forget to R/R. Thanks. 


	5. Chapter 4: TBBB3 Fast Food Feud Finish

Bob the Builder (Can we fix it?)   
Bob the Builder (Yes we can) 

Scoot, Muck and Dizzy   
And Roly too   
Lofty and Wendy   
Join the crew   
Bob and the gang   
have so much fun   
Working together   
They get the job done 

Bob the Builder   
Jolteon: Can we fix him?   
Bob th-- what?!   
Umbreon: Yes you can. 

As the rest of Team Eeveeon gladly charges towards the fleeing Bob, Umbreon heaves a sigh.   
Umbreon: That's the last time I get those dorks to fix the clubhouse -- they simply insist on singing their theme song before working. *turns to audience once again* I don't own anything here. Except for Team Eeveeon, their clubhouse, the T.A.K.E.O.F.F. (Oh please you really don't need me to go through what it stands for again do you?), this control room -- and I definitely DO NOT want to own Bob the Builder. Ick. 

**Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. **

Chapter 4: The Biosphere Battlefield Bashup (Part III) 

Fast Food Feud Finish 

As Umbreon fiddles with the main computer in the T.A.K.E.O.F.F. control room, the rest of the gang enters.   
Umbreon: I assume you four got rid of Dork the Builder?   
Team Eeveeon: Affirmative, captain.   
Umbreon: Brilliant. Maybe they'll think twice before going through their theme song again. Anyway, we'll just see how Jessie A is doing... 

Meanwhile, a beam of light shatters the desperate situation in the Biosphere Battlefield...   
Numbuh 4: Great. Just great. Here comes another enemy to beat the tomato juice out of us.   
Numbuh 1: No, wait, Numbuh 4! It looks like...   
The five kids (including Numbuh 3, who seems to have come out from her state of delirium) begin to recognise the 14-year-old Mexican girl that just appeared right in front of their eyes.   
Kids Next Door: JESSIE A!   
Numbuh 2: *cowering* Oh no! Please, don't call Grandma Stuffum to give me a feast, please don't--   
Numbuh 5: Eh, Numbuh 2 -- Grandma Stuffum already gave us a feast.   
Numbuh 2: What? Oh no!   
Numbuh 5: *mutters* Doofus.   
Numbuh 1: What brings you here, Jessie? You're not going to turn us into babies again, are you?   
Jessie A: Nah, I haven't time for that. By the way, Umbreon told me to give you this. *flings the bag at Numbuh 1, who catches it*   
Numbuh 1: ?   
Jessie A: Now if you excuse me, it's time for me to kick some butt! 

Numbuh 1 peers into the bag curiously.   
Numbuh 1: Holy cow!   
Numbuh 5: What's in the bag, Numbuh 1?   
Numbuh 4 grabs the bag over. Numbuh 3 takes a peek and yelps happily.   
Numbuh 3: Hamburgers! *grabs one and begins to eat*   
Pretty soon enough, each of the KND begin consuming the life-saving morsels of fast food, slowly regaining their energy.   
Numbuh 2: Ah... Tomato, onions and beef patty never meant so much.   
Numbuh 1: Wait, there's still something else in the bag... *picks out a piece of paper* Dear KND, within this bag we have included several pieces of specially engineered weaponry which you might find useful in defeating your enemies, Grandma Stuffum and Stickybeard. Love, Team Eeveeon.   
Numbuh 5: Numbuh 1, what's wrong?   
Numbuh 1: Nothing, Numbuh 5. And I can safely say that we're in for a fun time after all. 

Meanwhile, as Jessie A is advances towards the duo, Umbreon gets a pile of candy and popcorn.   
Vaporeon: What's up, Umbreon?   
Umbreon: We're in for a good show.   
Jolteon: How do you know?   
Umbreon: Oh, you'll see. Jessie A's expert when it comes to using a baseball bat. Care to join me?   
Flareon: Sure. 

Jessie: Prepare to meet your doom, ya fatsos!   
Grandma Stuffum: Oooh, skinny child. You need to eat! Load the Garlic and Gravy Meatball Surprises!   
Chewy and Gooey get up, and begin filling up Stuffum's C.A.N.N.O.N. with stinky garlic-meat cannonballs.   
Grandma Stuffum: FIRE!   
A barrage of the disgusting cannonballs start zooming towards Jessie A, who cleanly knocks it all over the horizon with a few swings of her baseball bat.   
Jessie A: Just as well as those things were as hard as cannonballs, or things would have been REALLY messy!   
Back in the control room...   
Team Eeveeon: Whoopee! Home run! 

Stickybeard rears up for the attack.   
Stickybeard: Take this, lassie!   
From Stickybeard's sleeves shoot out a stream of candy canes right out at Jessie A -- except that _these_ candy canes are pointed at the ends.   
Jessie A: Take that! Hiya!   
A few swings of her staff, and Jessie soon shatters the candy cane blades into mere fragments.   
Jessie A: Hya! Good thing I took some lessons from Donatello!   
Stickybeard: We're not done with you yet, lassie!   
With apparent skill, Stickybeard flings a pair of lollipops forward, knocking her weapons from her hands!   
Jessie A: OW! Hey, that hurt!   
Grandma Stuffum: Come here, child, you need to eat!   
Jessie A: Fat chance! Umbreon, I could use a little assistance, here!   
In the control room...   
Umbreon: Right, Jessie! I'll just activate the ChronoClimate Controls...   
Umbreon flips open a little flap on the main control panel and briefly types a few details before hitting the Enter key: 

**THE CHRONOCLIMATE CONTROLS**   
**Time Status:** Midnight   
**Weather Status:** Clear   
**Status of Sun/Moon:** Full moon   
**Temperature Status:** N/A   
Umbreon: And let the transformation begin! 

Back in the Biosphere Battlefield, as day gives way to night, Stuffum and Stickybeard stare on in utmost horror as Jessie begins to change into her werewolf form. The Kids Next Door, meanwhile, observe on as they lie in wait for further action.   
Jessie A: Wroar! CANNON BLASTER ATTACK!   
From Jessie A's hands shoots out a huge, flashing orb that charges itself at S&S.   
FWABOOM!   
Numbuh 2: Ouch.   
Stickybeard: Whew, that was a close one, eh, Missu-?!   
Unlike Stickybeard, Grandma Stuffum fast enough to duck the energy ball, and got her hair frazzled. And as for Liver & Onions... well, we don't want to comment.   
Kids Next Door/Jessie A/Team Eeveeon: AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!   
Grandma Stuffum: Get. The. Secret. Weapon.   
Stickybeard: At once, missus. *tries not to laugh at Stuffum's painful hairstyle* Arr, this T.R.A.N.N.Y.'ll (Transistor Radio Achieves Never-ending Noise, Yes?) put that scurvy swab back in her place.   
Umbreon: What? Oh, no.   
As Stickybeard presses the Play button on the T.R.A.N.N.Y., out blares an earsplittingly loud sound: 

**I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady   
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating   
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up,   
please stand up, please stand up**

Vaporeon: Hey, what the heck's going on?   
Umbreon: *sigh* Jessie's got a weakness for music.   
Flareon: And Eminem?   
Umbreon: Particularly Eminem.   
Everybody watches as Jessie A collapses and reverts back to her human form.   
Jolteon: Yourrrrrrrrrr'e OUT! *receives silencing stare from the others*   
Numbuh 1: You know what this means, team?   
Kids Next Door: Yeah!   
Numbuh 1: Kids Next Door. Battle stations!   
The Kids Next Door leap from their dugout, wielding their new weapons, charging towards the enemy. 

Numbuh 1: **F.R.I.E.S.** (Fries Release Impact on Enemy Suckers)   
Numbuh 2: **H.A.M.B.U.R.G.E.R.** (Hyper Assimilation Meat Blasters Usually Rapidly Grosses Enemy Repellers)   
Numbuh 3: **P.E.P.S.I.C.O.L.A.** (Parries Enemy Pushovers, Soda Infusion Can Omit Loser Adults)   
Numbuh 4: **M.A.R.I.N.A.T.E.** (Mustard Arsenal Relishes Impact Negating All Terrible Enemies)   
Numbuh 5: **V.A.N.I.L.L.A.** (Vanquishes Affliction, Never-ending Ice-cream Leaves Lethargic Adults) 

As the kids thunder on, Jessie A wakes up and sees the Kids Next Door charging for the onslaught.   
Jessie A: Hey, wait for me!   
Team Eeveeon cheers as Stickybeard and Stuffum are doused with mustard, coca-cola and ice-cream. Their henchmen try to avoid being splattered by the fries and beef patties. 

Umbreon: Ha ha ha! You don't get this much entertainment on the television, do you guys?   
Espeon: No kidding, man! I never knew watching the Kids Next Door could be so much fun!   
Jolteon: You said it, sister!   
As the team sprawls all over the control room in laughter, Umbreon accidentally activates the "Headquarters" button. Suddenly, the kids, villains, and Jessie A are beamed back into the Control Room. 

Umbreon: What the-? What happened?   
Vaporeon: I think you activated the homing button by accident, Umbreon.   
Umbreon: What?!? Oh, darn it.   
Team Eeveeon stares as the jumbled mass of people try to untangle themselves from the bulging teleportation tubes of the T.A.K.E.O.F.F.   
Umbreon: Well, I suppose that concludes this experiment. Now who's going to do the end theme guitar solo?   
Umbreon then wishes he kept his big mouth shut as everyone else in the room prepares to bash him to a pulp.   
Umbreon: Oops. Ah heh heh heh... 

  
Chicken: END! 

For the next experiment, the Kids Next Door are on their own... no companions, no weapons; it's time for them to pit their wits against... ah, you'll have to stay tuned to Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. to find that out... **and in the meantime I'm looking for five applicants to take part in an all-new experiment... where all I can say is that the Kids Next Door will be getting their own back after being continuously abused by so many authors. Reserve your places and your respective Numbuhs now!** (And that means _you_, Dynasty San... Mwahahahahaha... Jessie A may also apply.) 


	6. Chapter 5: The Joke Squad Debut

Umbreon: I suppose all of you authors out there have probably have guessed what's going to happen in the next experiment... which I'm sorry to announce cannot commence yet because we haven't enough information. By the way, the 5 numbuhs have been booked by the following: Numbuh 1 versus Ookami No Shinpi, Numbuh 2 versus Jessie A, Numbuh 3 versus Zenith, Numbuh 4 versus Numbuh 7, and Numbuh 5 versus Dynasty San.   
Vaporeon: So why can't you get on with the experiment?   
Umbreon: I don't have a description of Numbuh 7. In fact, the only fact I know that Numbuh 7 is female.   
Team Eeveeon: Aw...   
Umbreon: Which means that we'll have to entertain the Kids Next Door and our delightful audience _somehow_... Shall we do the Joke Squad Comedy, or the ACKapella Song Group?   
Team Eeveeon: We vote we do neither!   
Umbreon: I vote we do the Joke Squad... Oh goody, I win. *turns to audience, again, damnit* I don't own anything. Except Team Eeveeon, and the delightful stage where we'll be staging our little performance.   
Team Eeveeon: Oh no!   
Umbreon: Ah, shaddup you guys... you're lucky I was kind enough not to let you do the disclaimer. 

** Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. **

Mission Intermission: The Joke Squad's Debut 

Umbreon: We welcome you all to the first ever performance of the Team Eeveeon Joke Squad -- all jokes, all chapter, which have been specifically chosen for a sense of variety. There will be no blond, sexually disturbing, or racist jokes in this performance. Guaranteed! Alright? Here we go! 

Umbreon: What is the name of the sequel to Chicken Run?   
Espeon: I don't know. What is the name of the sequel to Chicken Run?   
Umbreon: Chicken _Ran_! 

Patron: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!   
Waiter: Sorry, sir, there wasn't room in the potato salad. 

Vaporeon: So what did your father say about your wrecking the car?   
Jolteon: Shall I omit the offensive language?   
Vaporeon: Yes, thank you.   
Jolteon: He didn't say anything. 

A guy who had moved to a new town forgot his house number. He was trying to unlock the lock to another house's door, but of course he couldn't unlock the door. A man came by and asked, "Need help?"   
"No thanks," the guy replied. "This lock seems to be stuck."   
"Really?" asked the other.   
"Yes," he replied.   
"Well," declared the other man, "if that key works, you and my wife have a lot of explaining to do." 

Flareon: If someone farts while sitting in a chair with seven holes, which hole does the fart come out from?   
Umbreon: I don't know. Which hole does the fart come out from?   
Flareon: The _asshole_, stupid. 

My landlord is so mean that when the roof began to leak, he charged me for the installation of a shower. 

Policeman: Hey, don't you know you're not allowed to park here? Didn't you see the sign?   
Motorist: I did, and it said "Fine for Parking." 

Lady: Is this my train?   
Station Master: No, it belongs to the station.   
Lady: Don't be silly. I meant to ask if I could take this train to the next city.   
Station Master: Sorry, Ma'am, but it's way too heavy. 

Some Cub Scouts visited the Cincinnati FBI office stopped to view pictures of the Ten Most Wanted Men in the U.S.A. One cub pointed to a picture and asked if that really was the photograph of the wanted person. The FBI man assured him that it was. "Then why," asked the boy, "didn't you keep him when you took his picture?" 

Did you hear about the French farmer who lost his beret in the middle of a cowfield? He had to put on fifteen before he found it. 

Flareon: What do you call a Jolteon with a short circuit?   
Vaporeon: A Jolte_off_.   
Jolteon: Hey! 

Knock knock!   
Who's there?   
Madam.   
Madam who?   
Ma-damn finger's stuck in the door... 

Jolteon: At the rate Calvin keeps getting charged at by Hobbes, they'll have to change the name of the comic.   
Espeon: What to?   
Jolteon: Calvin Hobbles. 

Flareon: What could you call Numbuh 2 for a nickname?   
Vaporeon: The Kid Next Dork!   
Numbuh 2/Jessie A: Hey!!! 

Umbreon: Which Cartoon Cartoon can't subtract, multiply, or divide?   
Espeon: Add, Add, and Addy... 

If I were a dog,   
And you were a flower,   
I'd lift up my leg,   
And give you a shower. 

Flareon: What comes before Numbuh 1?   
Jolteon: Numbuh Liftoff. 

Espeon: What do you call Sabrina's minions?   
Vaporeon: Her psykicks. 

Umbreon: If a Digimon got badly injured, what could you call it?   
Flareon: Critcal Monster. 

Vaporeon: What is the last letter of the alphabet?   
Umbreon: N. 

Jolteon: What's the difference between Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 4?   
Espeon: I don't know. What's the difference between Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 4?   
Jolteon: Then you need to have your eyes checked. 

Umbreon: Have you heard about the loser who went around saying "No"?   
Vaporeon: No.   
Umbreon: Ah, so it's you, isn't it? 

Espeon: What do you give an Arbok for low health?   
Jolteon: A _Viper_ Potion. 

Umbreon: Roll call! Numbuh 1!   
Numbuh 1: Present!   
Umbreon: Numbuh 2!   
Numbuh 2: Present!   
Umbreon: Numbuh 3!   
Numbuh 5: She's absent, yo.   
Umbreon: Quiet, Numbuh 5. Surely Numbuh 3 can speak for herself. 

Team Eeveeon: Thank you.   
Umbreon: There, that wasn't so bad, was it? 

Sorry for the delay. School's reopening soon here, as the closing-down-of-schools-period ends next Monday for us. It's not everyday you get a new epidemic hitting the country. Well, ja ne, and keep those reviews coming in, thanks. 


	7. Chapter 6: When KND Attacks: NIGELL

Today, Team Eeveeon (strangely except Umbreon) seems to be in the Team Eeveeon Headquarters' H.O.S.P.I.T.U.R.L. (Healing Operations Speedily Performed In Time, Usually Recover, LOL.) Strapped to an operation table is poor, poor, Umbreon.   
Espeon: Damn, we're losing him! Get me the defribillator!   
Vaporeon obeys and brings out Jolteon.   
Jolteon: Shock Wave! Thunder! Zap Cannon!   
BZZZT! KERRASH!   
Flareon: No avail! We've no choice left!   
Espeon: You mean...   
Flareon: Yes! I mean the RADIO!   
Espeon hesitates, obeys, and hurriedly pushes out a platinum-plated CD player and presses the Play button.   
"IIIII wanna heal! I wanna feel! What I thought was never real!"   
Vaporeon: Linkin Park?   
Flareon: *shrugs*   
Umbreon: *groggily* Ah, damn.   
Espeon: Umbreon! You're awake! We were _so_ worried!   
Vaporeon: You were muttering dates, formulae and speeches all through your fevered delirium!   
Flareon: Just goes to show... homework is bad for you.   
Jolteon: Couldn't have put it better myself, brudder.   
Umbreon: Wait a minute. Who are you people anyway?   
Everyone anime-faints. 

** Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. **

Chapter 6: When KND Attacks (Part I) 

N.I.G.E.L.L. -- No Intimidation, Great Electronic Laser Leaguing 

**The Team Eeveeon A.R.C.H.I.V.E. (A Regally Computerised Holder of Information, Very Efficient), Individual Division**

  
**Subject Identification Number:** 7   
**Subject Identity:** Ookami No Shinpi   
**Other known Identities:** Ookami, Melody, Hoshi, Sugar, Mizumi, Pam   
**Nationality:** Filipino-American   
**Appearance:** Sixteen-year-old, 5 feet tall, short black hair, brown eyes   
**Known likes/interests:** Anime, cartoons, romance, reading, writing, singing, listening to music, wolves, birds, astrology, chocolate, sleeping, video games, watching tv, laying around   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** Horror movies, intimidation, blood, anatomical descriptions, the dark, math and homework in general, actual violence   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Good listener, intelligence, creativity, psychic powers   
**Known weaknesses:** Fears suffering, pain and violence.   
**Any other useful information:** Peace-loving and emotional. 

**Subject Identification Number:** 11   
**Subject Identity:** Nigel Uno   
**Other known Identities:** Numbuh 1   
**Nationality:** British-American   
**Appearance:** 10-year-old, elliptical, bald head, sports red shirt and black sunglasses   
**Known likes/interests:** The Kids Next Door   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** Adults taking over the world, the Delightful Children From Down the Lane   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Supreme Commanderness, KND Tech Gear   
**Known weaknesses:** Flies   
**Any other useful information:** None so far. 

Vaporeon: Now, according to the plans here, Ookami No Shinpi specifically requested a non-violence mode of combat against Nigel. *blinks* Where's the fun in that?   
Jolteon: Well, the reviewer is always right. Most of the time, I suppose.   
Vaporeon: Ookami No Shinpi apparently asked for a virtual battle -- but we had other ideas.   
Flareon: So is it violent combat or non-violent combat?   
Vaporoen: Er... actually it's a combination of both, sort of. Where's Espeon, anyway?   
Jolteon: Still teaching Umbreon how to use the computer.   
Vaporeon: Oh... shoot. Well, *grabs hold of a microphone* are you two ready? If so -- ready, set, go! 

Vaporeon's voice echoes throughout the entire of Team Eeveeon Headquarters, grabbing the attention of the two Laser-Tag-gear-donned contestants. Thing is, Numbuh 1 seems to only have the gun, and Ookami seems to only have the beeping thingy. Numbuh 1, who is outside, hears Vaporeon and goes through the main gates past the Harry and Marco (the Hariyama and Machamp guarding the doorway). Ookami No Shinpi immediately dashes from the main lounge before Numbuh 1 does. She dashes across the long hallway and barges into a room, to find that it is dark.   
Ookami: Eep! *clamps hand over mouth to prevent herself from screaming*   
Ookami gropes around for the switch and flips it on, discovering that she is in the room of the T.A.K.E.O.F.F. Seeing no use for the room, she decides to leave, but grabs a paintbox lying nearby.   
Meanwhile, Numbuh 1 is searching behind all the doors he can find, looking for Ookami. So far, he's only barged into Vaporeon's room, which was decorated with a brilliant aquamarine hue, and the main kitchen.   
Numbuh 1: Ouch, my bum. *rubs his sore bottom* Who'd keep a _Camerupt_ inside a kitchen anyway?   
*Flashback*   
Numbuh 1: Alright Ookami! I gotcha covered!   
Carmen: Oi!   
Numbuh 1: What the-?   
Carmen: **Overheat!**   
From her twin volcanic humps Carmen the Camerupt blasts a spider-like formation of fire at Numbuh 1. Numbuh 1 barely escapes with his butt scorched.   
*End Flashback*   
Numbuh 1: When I find that author I'm so gonna-- *stops*   
Ookami: Oh, busted!   
Numbuh 1: There you are!   
As Numbuh 1 starts firing, Ookami breaks into a run, and so does Numbuh 1. Running for dear life, Ookami dashes past a corner, and Numbuh 1 follows suit. But...   
Numbuh 1: Eh? Where the hell did she go?   
Numbuh 1 begins a search around what looks like a small lift lobby, but to no avail. Thinking that Ookami took the elevator, Numbuh 1 dashes up the stairs.   
Ookami: Whew... nearly lost it.   
Ookami jumps down from the light, thanking silently she took stealth lessons from Raphael. After pondering for a few minutes, she decides to go down into the basement through the elevator. 

Meanwhile, back in the Main Control Room where Jolteon, Flareon and Vaporeon are sitting in...   
Vaporeon: So far, so good. Except for Carmen, that is; I think it's time we sent her to Anger Management.   
Jolteon: Then who's gonna cook our meals?   
Vaporeon: I'm sure we can find someone else... Charles, maybe?   
Jolteon/Flareon: Charles the Charizard?! *looks at each other* No way, man!   
Vaporeon: Swift, perhaps?   
Flareon: Swift the Rapidash? A bit rocky...   
Vaporeon: Flareon?   
Flareon: Flareon? Hm... maybe... wait. I'm Flareon.   
Jolteon: Pinhead.   
Flareon: Speak for yourself, pinbody.   
Vaporeon: We now return you to the show. 

Ookami goes up to the level 4 in Team Eeveeon Headquarters and finds herself in a very short strip of corridor with a door and a staircase at the end. She shrugs, and pushes the door open, to discover an entire garden maze. A sign hovers over her saying, "Welcome to the H.A.L.L.W.A.Y. (Hyper Abstruse Labyrinth, Lost Will Apparate, Yo.) Each dead end will either have a portal... or something... else. Good luck!"   
"Found you again!" Ookami turns around to see Numbuh 1. Quickly she paints a hole in one of the walls and speeds through. Numbuh 1 follows her but crashes into a pile of leaves instead.   
"Damned cartoon quips..." Numbuh 1 growls as he tries to free himself from the leaves, but something grabs his arm.   
"Huh?"   
"TREEEEEEEEE!"   
"ACK!" Numbuh 1 tries to free himself from the vicious vines of the raging Victreebel. Quickly he shoots the laser in the Victreebel's eyes. The laser isn't harmful, but it blinds the Victreebel who flings him over the horizon.   
Numbuh 1: ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!   
Ookami isn't having much fun either...   
"Get away from me!" she screams. She just happened to have burst in on a group of Shuppet, Banette, Duskull and Dusclops. They all start to use their Leer on her.   
Ookami: EEP!   
Luckily she still can move her limbs quick enough to run. The creepy quartet of ghostly species follow her in pursuit. By a strange twist of fate, Numbuh 1 lands in front of Ookami.   
Numbuh 1: Got you again!   
Ookami: Just shut up and run!   
Numbuh 1 looks behind her, gets the message, and runs as well.   
Numbuh 1: Let's try to lose them!   
Ookami: Got ya!   
The two dash through the maze, the ghosts hot on their heels, and break away in a T-junction. The Shuppet and Dusclops follow Ookami, and the Banette and Duskull take after Numbuh 1. Suddenly...   
Ookami/Numbuh 1: WHOAAAAAAH!   
It seems that the two of them ran into dead ends, and lucky for them, they had portals at the dead ends. Question is, where are they going to land?... 

Numbuh 1: Vaporeon? Jolteon? Flareon?   
Vaporeon: Ah, Numbuh 1! How nice of you to join us.   
Numbuh 1: Thanks, but, where's Ookami?   
Jolteon: Hm... according to this monitor, she appears to be in the kitc- 

Ookami: Urgh... I feel like I've been turned inside out and back again... wha-?   
Carmen: Another one! That's it! I'm pissed! MAGNITUDE!   
The ground begins to shake so hard that the entire headquarters is quaking.   
Vaporeon: That's it, I'm sending her to Anger Management!   
Screaming, Ookami tears out of the kitchen and runs all the way into the Control Room, panting.   
Jolteon: Out of the frying pan into the fire.   
Numbuh 1: Please, don't mention the word 'fire' to me.   
Vaporeon: So, Ookami, do you surrender?   
Ookami: Anything... *pant* I'm pooped!   
Flareon: Alright, Numbuh 1, fire away!   
"Don't mention the word 'fire'." hisses Numbuh 1 before he aims the laser gun at Ookami.   
"PSSSSCH." 

Vaporeon: And that concludes the battle between Numbuh 1 and Ookami No Shinpi. We'll update the fic as soon as... Umbreon gets his memory back.   
Umbreon: So, you're Umbreon, I'm Flareon, he's Espeon, she's Jolteon, and the last one is...   
Vaporeon: Why me? Why ME??? 


	8. Chapter 7: When KND Attacks: HOAGIE

This June on Cartoon Network:   
Guess who's got Samurai Night Fever?   
DJ: Jack, is in the houuuuuuuse!   
Featuring all new episodes of Samurai Jack!   
Otto/Larry/Tuddrussel: Stinky pile of poo?!   
Make history with all-new episodes of Time Squad in Cartoon Cartoon Fridays!   
Larry/Tuddrussel: It's go time!   
Yogi/Booboo: Surprise!   
Check your fur factor in the Yogi Bear Month in Cartoon Theater.   
And Mojo Jojo finally gets the V.I.P. (Very Infamous Primate) treatment as Character of the Month!   
Mojo Jojo: Are you talking to me?   
This June, on Cartoon Netw-   
*BZZT*   
Umbreon: Get out from there, Hoagie. Show's on.   
Numbuh 2: You know, you Asians are really slow.   
Umbreon: I don't want to talk about it. 

**

Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. 

**

Chapter 7: When KND Attacks (Part II) 

H.O.A.G.I.E. -- Hyperominousity Of Advertisements Gradually Increased thru' Exposure 

**The Team Eeveeon A.R.C.H.I.V.E. (A Regally Computerised Holder of Information, Very Efficient), Individual Division   
Subject Identity:** Jessie A   
**Other known Identities:** Rabbit, Numbuh 6   
**Nationality:**Mexican   
**Appearance:** Fourteen year old, short black hair, brown eyes, skinny figure   
**Known favourites**: Stone Cold Steve Austin, Eminem, Numbuh 2   
**Known hates:** The Hoe Squad, The Delightful Children from Down The Lane   
**Known likes/interests:** Writing, drawing, playing Vice City   
**Known non-interests:** Being in anger management and boot camp   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Cannon Blaster, staff, baseball bat, werewolf powers   
**Known weaknesses:** Music (especially Eminem), Stone Cold Steve Austin, Vice City, watching Crank Yankers, strawberries   
**Any other useful information:** Really likes Numbuh 2. A student at Hogwarts school of wizardry with the occasional evil tendency. 

Subject Identity: Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr.   
**Other known Identities:** Numbuh 2   
**Appearance:** Rotund figure, wears pilot cap and uniform   
**Nationality:** American   
**Known interests:** Eating, sleeping   
**Known non-interests:** Errr... nutrition deprival?   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Aviation and invention skills   
**Known weaknesses:** Being an absolute doofus   
**Any other useful information:** He's the weapon and transport inventor of the KND. And no one, not even Numbuh 4 can beat him when it comes to going, or rather, rolling down the stairs. 

Umbreon: We've cleared the information for the audience, and now lets zoom in on our contestants -- where the hell are they?!   
Umbreon frantically scans the monitors, but as yet Numbuh 2 and Jessie are nowhere to be found.   
Umbreon: Alright, team, you know what to do -- activate the P.I.R.O.L.A.S.A. (Positron Infra-Red Optical Locators Aiding Stray Applicants)!   
Several wibbles, wurps and phazaps later...   
Espeon: We've found them, Umbreon. According to their bearings they're in Sector 21, Floor 3.   
Jolteon: Isn't that where the MegaMedia Chamber is?   
Espeon: Dimwit, Sector 21 Floor 3 IS the MegaMedia Chamber.   
Umbreon: Has the security been alerted?   
Vaporeon limply points to a screen showing Harry the Hariyama, Marco the Machamp, Prima the Primeape and Madison the Medicham pounding furiously on the door.   
Flareon: That doofus Numbuh 2 must have closed the password-protected door.   
Umbreon: What hell? Oh no. This could get messy. 

_The Book of Relationships says we always hurt the ones we love.   
That the biggest fights are always between the closest of pals,   
And that true friendship will always save the day..._   
BUT NOT TOM AND JERRY!   
They say ANY argument can be settled with one big --   
Tom: AUUUUUUUUUGH!   
Sometimes your nearest and dearest just deserves one good slap!   
Jerry: That dirty, double-crossing, good-for-nothing...   
Tom and Jerry, keeping it real, weekdays on Cartoon Network. 

Numbuh 2 gazes in awe at the number of big television screens around him.   
Numbuh 2: No time for slacking, gotta find Jessie -- but I'll finish this commercial first. 

Flareon: What the heck do you mean, messy? They're our contestants inside, you know.   
Umbreon: I know, I know, I know. The thing is, the radiation from the MegaMedia Chamber could be lethal to their foreign minds...   
Vaporeon: What do you mean? We usually spend hours in that place and nothing happens to us.   
Umbreon: That's because we're used to our cable access' frequency, idiot. Since Numbuh 2 and Jessie A, as of today, are the first ever foreigners to enter the MegaMedia Chamber, there could be lethal effects if their minds are overexposed to the radiation.   
Jolteon: So? We'll just bash in the door and get them out.   
Umbreon: Hello, is this thing even on? The door is password protected, and if our security can't smash it the door I doubt anyone else can.   
Vaporeon: Which means we'll need to password, which only... you know.   
Umbreon: Exactly.   
Espeon: Oh, god, please don't let him tell us that--   
Umbreon: I can't remember the password.   
As Team Eeveeon ponder over their dilemma, Jessie A herself is being distracted by another screen... 

Wanted: Have you seen this chimpanzee?   
Mojo Jojo: Me? Hah!   
Mojo Jojo -- Monkey of mass destruction.   
Mojo Jojo: Who's bad? Who's bad?   
Also a notorious international doodoo-brain!   
Mojo Jojo: Doodoo-brain?!   
He has been exposed to the power of Chemical X!   
Mojo Jojo: Ooooh, that is a misconception!   
A biological weapon...   
Mojo Jojo: Look at this egg! And this French bread is too hard!   
Also, he has an unquenchable thirst for a lovely hot shower every morning, followed by a fully nutritious breakfast!   
Mojo Jojo: That's it! I've had it with your sassy mouth!   
Most wanted, Mojo Jojo -- our Character of the Month in June! Sunday, on Cartoon Network. 

Numbuh 2: YAAAAAAAAA!!!   
Jessie A: What the -- ARGH!   
Jessie A: looks up to find Numbuh 2 trying to give her a Body Slam.   
Jessie A: Someone's been watching Snorlax documentaries... Cannon Blaster attack!   
Numbuh 2: Eep.   
A shattering of glass is heard as Numbuh 2 crashes into a nearby television.   
Umbreon: It's a good thing I'm not making them pay for this. Pass the Memory Booster; I'm gonna try to remember that damned password if it's the last thing I do.   
Jolteon: Geesh. And how strong is that blasted door anyway?   
Umbreon: Against every single type of attack, weapon, energy blast that I knew before June 1st.   
Vaporeon: Then you'd better remember that password, and quick. 

*Chinese accent begins here*   
This week, on Samurai Jack!   
There is a new champion fighting in the underground arenas!   
Chicken Jack: BAWK?!   
A chicken with great skills and strength!   
A chicken called -- JACK!   
What evil forces have turned our samurai into a gladiator chicken, and how will he turn back?   
It's Chicken Jack on Samurai Jack! Sunday on Cartoon Network!   
*Chinese accent ends here* 

"Ooooo..." Numbuh 2 rubs his sore head to find that Jessie A has gone. "Lucky thing Numbuh 1 slipped me these," he mutters as he brings out several weapons from his pocket.   
"Hm, the S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R., the B.U.B.B.L.E. (See Chapter 1: Regi, Rayquaza and the R.R.I.D.M.), the S.C.A.M.P.P.... which to use?"   
After some thought, Numbuh 2 picks up the weapons, holding the S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R. and S.C.A.M.P.P. in his hands and the B.U.B.B.L.E. in his teeth.   
"Essie A, ere I come!"   
As Numbuh 2 walks off Jessie A peers from behind another television set and heaves a sigh of relief. She sits down in front of the television set to see that "Whatever Happened to Robot Jones" is on. 

Umbreon: Nope. Negative.   
Flareon: Dagnabbit, we're never gonna rescue them now. Isn't there any other way we can smash that door?   
Umbreon: If Voldemort (screams from the audience: "Don't say that name!!!") couldn't Apparate inside the chamber, d'you think there is?   
Vaporeon: Couldn't you enlist the help of ANY other cartoon character?   
Espeon: Like there's a cartoon that's been created after June 1st?!   
Umbreon: Wait a minute. I think we're on to something.   
Back in the MegaMedia Chamber...   
Numbuh 2: Ands up Essie A! Ah ot oo ur-oun-ed!   
Jessie A: What? Aw, shoot.   
Numbuh 2 quickly grabs the B.U.B.B.L.E. from his mouth and begins firing the multi-flavoured bubble gum. Jessie A swiftly obtains her portable baseball bat, but unlike Grandma Stuffum's garlic-flavoured meatballs, the bubble gum is NOT hard as stone, and sticks all over Jessie A and her baseball bat. Frantically Jessie A tries to use her Cannon Blaster attack, but her hands are gummed together. 

This week on Premiere Premiere:   
Earl of Sandwich: Two parts bread, one part meat...   
A culinary masterpiece...   
Earl of Sandwich: Prepare to witness GREATNESS!!!   
FRABOOM!   
... turns DISASTERpiece!   
Earl of Sandwich: Too crispy.   
Next, strike a pose with Cleopatra...   
Tuddrussel: Boy, you sure are pretty.   
And SHOP like an Egyptian!   
Cleopatra: Let's go shopping!   
Crowd: *cheers*   
Cleopatra: Sorry, royalty only.   
Crowd: Aw...   
In Cartoon Cartoon Fridays. Only on Cartoon Network. 

A group of six stands in front of the metallic door guarding the MegaMedia Chamber. Five of them are Team Eeveeon; the sixth figure is a teenage girl with her pink hair gelled up into two Felix-style ears, wearing a purple suit with matching platform shoes.   
Umbreon: Guys, I'd like you to meet Jinx.   
Jolteon: Jill? I thought she was in the T.A.K.E.O.F.F. control room handling the machinery.   
Umbreon: Not Jynx, you fool, JINX!   
Vaporeon: And which cartoon did you come from?   
Jinx: Teen Titans. I'm supposed to be one of the villains. We can be found at CartoonNetwork.com.   
Flareon: Lucky America. Seven months since they released Kids Next Door there, and we haven't heard a single peep here in Singapore. Now this!   
Espeon: How did you remember Teen Titans anyway?   
Umbreon: The show's premiering on my birthday, July 19th. Now, Jinx.   
Jinx: Alright, alright. Energy Spin!   
Umbreon: Back off, you guys!   
As Team Eeveeon leap backwards the mysterious girl spins around, creating a sharp disk of psychic energy around her that slices the door clean in half.   
Vaporeon: Yike.   
Jinx: Well, my job's done. *smiles at Umbreon* Thanks, Umbreon, I must be the first "Teen Titans" character to be featured in a fic.   
Jolteon: That's our Umbreon. The pioneer.   
Umbreon: Aw, shaddup. Let's go in and rescue Jessie A and Numbuh 2! 

"No baseball, no staff, no Cannon Blaster attack -- and definitely no moonlight." Numbuh 2 smiles as he advances towards Jessie A, while putting his foot into a pile of mango-flavoured gum.   
"Wha?"   
"You know," mutters Jessie A, "I really should be calling you the Kid Next Dork."   
"Hold on, Jessie, Numbuh 2!" Umbreon's voice echoes throughout the chamber as he and the others barge into the part where Jessie A and Numbuh 2 have been imprisoned by bubble gum, but --   
"I am so gonna get Numbuh 1 for passing you that weapon." Umbreon growls as he tries to free himself from HIS gummy prison. Suddenly...   
Anger Management Person 1: Is Umbreon in?   
Jessie A: Anger Management?!   
Umbreon: Here!   
Anger Management Person 2: Right, Umbreon. I take it that you're the one who ordered the capture of Carmen here.   
The guy points to a heatproofed chamber on wheels containing a very angry Camerupt.   
Umbreon: I know, Vaporeon told me.   
Anger Management Person 1: Please sign here. And Hoagie, please sign here for the arrest of Jessie A.   
Jessie A: What?!! Hoagie, you, you...   
Numbuh 2: *smiling* It pays to know how to SMS.   
Jessie A breaks into a bout of struggling and swearing as the two Management people put her into a strait jacket, lug her into another chamber and lock it tight.   
Numbuh 2: Thanks, guys. Now you're at it, could you get us out of here please? 

As the Anger Management truck begins to pull out of the Team Eeveeon Headquarters driveway, Jessie A is still screaming.   
Jessie A: When I get my hands on that #&@!$%@ Numbuh 2 I'm gonna rip off his @*$^!$? %^#& and stuff it right up his #&^ !!!"   
Team Eeveeon and Numbuh 2 sweatdrop as they cheekily wave goodbye.   
Umbreon: Well, that's contestant number 2. Tune in, people, for a new chapter, not to mention a future operation and maybe even a fanfic for Teen Titans.   
Vaporeon: Do you always have to be the pioneer?   
Umbreon: It's easy to do that when you're a cartoon freak in the middle of a country with a population of only four million. 


	9. Chapter 8: When KND Attacks: KOOKI

Umbreon: Well, well, well. Would you look at that.   
Vaporeon: After months of anticipation...   
Flareon: And almost giving up hope...   
Jolteon: The Hong Kong people are finally releasing Kids Next Door on July 4th.   
Espeon: What irony. We get a new cartoon on America's birthday. America gets a new cartoon on Umbreon's birthday.   
Umbreon: And phooey, we won't even be there to see it.   
Jolteon: Still, not to worry -- it's only seven months, and we can ask the others for information. After all, like the transmission said -- there's strength in NUMBUHS!   
The rest of Team Eeveeon groan. Umbreon beckons to Lurch to come over and put Jolteon in a strait jacket.   
Umbreon: And before we begin the third round of Kuki vs. Zenith, we'd like to do the disclaimers for this and the last two chapters. Other than ourselves, and all our staff and fancy gear, we don't own anything. 

**

Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. 

**

Chapter 8: When KND Attacks (Part III) 

K.O.O.K.I. -- Kuteness Of Opponent Krushes Intellegentsia 

**The Team Eeveeon A.R.C.H.I.V.E. (A Regally Computerised Holder of Information, Very Efficient), Individual Division**

  
**Subject Identification Number:** 9   
**Subject Identity:** Zenith   
**Other known Identities:** None   
**Nationality:** British   
**Appearance:** Medium height, thin, black hair, brown eyes   
**Known likes/interests:** Anime, video games, reading, math class   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** Snow days in spring (Not that here in Singapore you could tell the difference.)   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Smart, equipped with mecha piloting knowledge   
**Known weaknesses:** Physically weak, knows little about combat   
**Any other useful information:** None so far. 

**Subject Identification Number:** 13   
**Subject Identity:** Kuki Sanban   
**Other known Identities:** Numbuh 3   
**Nationality:** Japanese-American   
**Appearance:** 10-year-old, elliptical head, beige skin, long black hair, sports oversized green jumper   
**Known likes/interests:** The Kids Next Door, Rainbow Monkeys   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** Gory movies   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Diversionary tactics, the T.H.U.M.P.E.R. and other animal/stuffed toy-related weaponry   
**Known weaknesses:** Flowers, butterflies and any other girly stuff.   
**Any other useful information:** Her mother was a KND agent, Numbuh 30. See Operation PARENTS written by Sgamer82. 

Umbreon: Blame my ignorance, but what's mecha?   
Espeon: Mechanised things like Zoids, methinks.   
Umbreon: Absolutely great. We've got quite a bunch of the stuff. And now we hand you over to Flareon who will be in charge in today's match, away in the Biosphere Battledome.   
Umbreon flips a switch, turning on a monitor screen showing that the Biosphere Battledome is...   
Umbreon: ...empty?! Flippin' 'eck, what the hell did you do, Flareon?!   
Flareon: I dunno, I thought I keyed in the coordinates correctly...   
Umbreon: Those are the coordinates to the middle of nowhere, you dumbcluck!   
Flareon: Oops. Heh heh.   
Umbreon: *sighs* This will not be easy. There's a character in Neil Simon's "Rumours" called 'Cookie' (I'm not making this up), and according to one of the actors from our local high school drama group she's got the intelligence quotient of a half-baked cookie. Really.   
Vaporeon: So what are we going to do?   
Umbreon: Beats me, but it should be fine. We sent Zenith in our Archaeopte-Rex and he should protect her just finely until we can settle our R.E.T.R.E.E.V.U.H. (Reaching Everywhere To Retrieve Everything, Extreme Versatility Used Here) to get them back. 

Courage sighs happily as he sits on Muriel's lap. Muriel is enjoying a nice sit in her rocking chair while Eustace is reading the Nowhere News. Suddenly, a hurried series of knocks is heard from outside.   
Courage: Ahhhhhhh!!!   
Muriel: Oh my. Could you get the door, Eustace?   
Eustace: (not moving) Nope, not getting out of this chair!   
Muriel gets up and opens the door to find a young Asian girl in a big green shirt.   
Numbuh 3: (smiling sweetly) Could I spend the night here, please?   
Muriel: Why of course! I'll just get the spare room ready.   
Eustace just sits there without moving at all. Courage moves over and gets a relaxing scratching session behind the ears from Numbuh 3. Meanwhile, in a two-metre-tall flying machine shaped like a cross between an Archaeopteryx and a Tyrannosaurus Rex...   
Zenith: Hmmm... the heat-sensors seem to point towards that run-down farmhouse over there... but I'll not bother them seeing as it's so late.   
Zenith yawns, activates the cockpit bed and begins to doze off. So does Numbuh 3, and the others in the farmhouse, but...   
Eustace: (grumbling) Argggk... Scratch... scratch...   
Courage wakes up, rubs his eyes and happens to catch a glimpse at Eustace's foot.   
Courage: ARRRRRRRRGH!   
Courage screams, leaps up and hits the ceiling.   
Eustace: Eh? Stupid dog.   
Muriel: *yawns* What's the matter Courage?   
Courage whimpers and points to Eustace's festering foot.   
Muriel: Ooh, it's looks like you've got a fungus. Don't worry, I know some family cures. 

The next morning, Numbuh 3 eats her breakfast in the kitchen while Muriel prepares some podiatric therapy for Eustace's foot, including stabbing it all over with cacti spines, letting loose some wild lobsters on it, and plunging it into some compost -- all of which the only results are Eustace shouting his head off.   
Numbuh 3: Is your place always noisy like this?   
Courage: You have no idea.   
Eustace: I ain't going to no doctor.   
Muriel: But you have to.   
Eustace: Make me!   
Muriel: Oh, alright. But I think it's starting to fester.   
Uncle Fester: Someone mentioned my name?   
Quietly, Muriel goes into the kitchen and tell Numbuh 3 and Courage to keep an eye on Eustace as she slips out of the back door to look for a doctor. Numbuh 3 and Courage get back to finishing breakfast while Eustace decides to take a kip on his chair. After half an hour, however...   
"AAAAAAAAAAUGH!" An ear-piercing scream cuts through the house. Numbuh 3 and Courage rush to the living room to find a huge mutant purple foot in place of Eustace.   
Numbuh 3/Courage: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!   
Numbuh 3: What have you done to that dear old man?   
Courage: Are you kidding?   
Big Toe: We're the Foot, see? And I'm the Big Toe, see? And we're gonna pull off this big heist, see?   
Back in a huge mansion in the U.S. five shady characters chuckle lightly. At the farmhouse, the door suddenly falls down with Zenith in the doorway.   
Zenith: Is everything all right in here? I've been knocking for the past ten minutes? And boy, someone needs a good bath! Phew!   
Index/Middle/Ring Toes: No, everything is not all right. (Hops on Numbuh 3) And you two'd better not call the coppers, or the Asian girl here gets it, see?   
Other toes: Yeah, or the Asian girl gets it!   
Little toe: Yeah, or the Asian girl gets it!   
Numbuh 3: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!   
Zenith: Okay, we've got a situation here. 

Team Eeveeon is busy fixing up the R.E.T.R.E.E.V.E.R., a box-like mechanism as big as a car, when several knocks are heard from the door. Espeon gets up and opens it to find Madison the Medicham and Muriel.   
Espeon: Muriel! What brings you here today?   
Muriel: Oh, Team Eeveeon, you have to help me! My poor Eustace has got a fungus and that Indian doctor said there was nothing he could do.   
Espeon: Yes, we'll follow you immediately. Thank you, Madison. You guys ready yet?   
Jolteon yells as a spurt of oil splashes into his face and Vaporeon quickly grabs a flying gear. Umbreon presses a button and the box begins to transform into a car.   
Umbreon: Yep, it's finished. Now that we've transformed it into its Mobile Mode, we can get there within a few hours, or so.   
Flareon: Couldn't we take the T.A.K.E.O.F.F.?   
Umbreon: 'Fraid not. The Translocation Matrix Highway seems to have stalled, and I can't imagine why. Anyway, let's go fix that fungus and get our contestants back. 

Meanwhile, in a faraway planet called D'hoonib, four saurians have just reached their destination...   
Raphael: UNH! I feel like I've been turned inside out and back again!   
Michelangelo: What happened? That light -- the strange lab -- those weird robot aliens? Where'd they go?   
Donatello: I don't know, but we've got new company -- and they don't look too friendly either!   
Leonardo: Well, before their trigger fingers get too itchy -- HIT 'EM!!!   
Umbreon: We now return you to your normal broadcasting. 

Inside the Archaeopte-Rex Zenith is piloting the robotic craft. Courage is hopping around nervously and Numbuh 3 is still struggling to get free from the Foot. Suddenly, Zenith touches down next to a cookie factory.   
Big Toe: Alright, you two, here's the plan, see? *whispers instructions to Courage and Zenith* Now get in there, and grab all them cookies you can find, or the Asian girl gets it, see?   
Numbuh 3: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!   
Courage and Zenith hurriedly run down the landing platform and dash towards the closed factory. Zenith fires his grappling gun, smashing a window, grabs Courage and climbs into the factory. The two run through what seem like endless corridors until they find a password-protected trapdoor in a secluded corner. Courage nods, grabs the blowtorch he found in the Archaeopte-Rex and melts a hole open for them to get through.   
Hurriedly Zenith and Courage climb down the seemingly eternal ladder and both of them begin to feel that the temperature is starting to rise a little. As they leap onto a metal platform they gasp to find that they are surrounded by a lake of lethal lava.   
Cringing, they slowly move across the platform, huddling the wall, until they find a huge door that looks like a safe. Courage twiddles with the wheel while Zenith places a stethoscope to the door. After a while, and several bashes on the door with assorted toolbox equipment, the decision is made to blow up the door. Zenith attaches the dynamite to the door, fires the grappling gun, and slowly haul himself and Courage to the melted hole.   
Courage: Look! LOOK!   
Zenith turns back to see that the door has mysteriously creaked open and that the fuse has just reached its destination.   
Zenith: Oh, knickers.   
With a resounding explosion the factory blows apart. Courage and Zenith fly through the air before making their descent down to Earth. Luckily for Zenith, his parachute is attached right to his back, and he pulls the cord, activating the parachute, giving him and Courage a safe fall down to good old terra firma.   
Big Toe: You pinheads, you blew up the damned factory. Now let's shift back to the house before the cops arrive. 

As Umbreon pulls the R.E.T.R.E.E.V.E.R. over to the farmhouse, a signal suddenly begins to beep in a pattern.   
Jolteon: Dot dot dot, dash dash dash, dot dot dot -- Numbuh 3 and Zenith are in trouble!   
As the hatchway opens Team Eeveeon leap out of the machine to find Courage rushing out of the door, who stops in front of the gang and Muriel, making some strange sign-speak.   
Umbreon: A humongous foot fungus took over Eustace and held Numbuh 3 hostage?   
Team Eeveeon gaze among each other.   
Umbreon: Well, a contestant is a contestant, and we'll have to rescue them -- you'll need to bring me a sample of that fungus, Courage.   
Courage complies and five minutes later returns with a small flourescent-green piece of the fungus. Umbreon feeds it into his portable A.N.A.L.I.S.A. (A Nanotechnological Analytical Luminous Invention, Sophisticated Assistant).   
"YUCK! PTOOEY!" The A.N.A.L.I.S.A. spits out the fungus and ejects a slip of paper.   
Umbreon: Species: Gangsta Gigantactis. Cure: Dog spit.   
Six pairs of eyes land on Courage who whines terribly. He goes into the house, and half an hour later, out come Courage, Eustace, Numbuh 3 and Zenith. Eustace is stumbling around dizzily, Numbuh 3 is holding Courage in a bear hug and Zenith is sitting on the steps.   
Zenith: Weeeeesh. I'm glad that's over.   
Umbreon: Not yet -- you have yet to meet your opponent in physical combat, Zenith. 

And so, Numbuh 3 and Zenith find themselves in a big field behind the farmhouse. Everyone else is sitting down on the ground except Eustace, of course.   
Muriel: Oh my, Eustace. Can't I sit down on that chair for a while?   
Eustace: Nope! Not getting out of this chair.   
Numbuh 3 bows Japanese-style, then rips off her green jumper, revealing a karate uniform with a black belt.   
Zenith/Team Eeveeon minus Umbreon: Holy shit!   
Numbuh 3: Haaaaaai-ya!   
Vaporeon: You never told us Numbuh 3 was a karate student...   
Umbreon: Actually, she wasn't. But Marco the Machamp was happy enough to give her some lessons, and she learns fast indeed. Samurai Jack passed by for a few moments, too.   
Zenith immediately fires a series of exploding cannons. Being the most agile of the team Numbuh 3 makes quick work of dodging the lethal bombs, then flies at Archaeopte-Rex and gives it a few kicks.   
Grappling claws are fired, which Numbuh 3 swiftly grabs, but Zenith simply flings her over a hundred metres away. Numbuh 3 leaps up, and begins to fly at Zenith.   
Espeon: And I suppose Ron the Aggron taught her how to Skull Bash?   
Umbreon: Actually, he didn't. It was Antonio the Dodrio, but never mind that.   
Zenith responsively turns on the most powerful weapon that the Archaeopte-Rex wields.   
Jolteon: And that might be?   
Umbreon: The Plasmalasa DeParticulator.   
Espeon: What's that supposed to be?   
Umbreon: A powerful laser that utilises the strength of plasma to form a powerful laser, that, at optimum destructability, could liberate the bonds between the atoms of its target.   
Everyone else: WHAT?!   
Umbreon: Hey, it's not my fault you didn't read the manual.   
As the laser charges Numbuh 3's foot connects with the robotic machine which falls back, launching the laser into a cloud in the sky, causing a rainstorm. Lightning strikes the Archaeopte-Rex, shorting it out.   
Umbreon: What hell, I thought you peeps made it shock-proof!   
Jolteon: Oops. Heh heh.   
Everyone gazes at the smouldering chunk of metal that is, or was, the Archaeopte-Rex. Zenith climbs out, totally battered. Numbuh 3 simply bows, and puts on her jumper before returning to her happy-go-lucky, neurotic self. 

Umbreon: That's it for Round Numbuh 3! Sorry for not updating, but if you must know, I've had six stitches on me foot after a serious gash between the toes!   
Vaporeon: So, please read and review, people.   
Big Toe: Or the Asian girl gets it, see? 


	10. Chapter 9: When KND Attacks: WALLABEE

Aku: Recently, in Team Eeveeon Headquarters,   
I, Aku, the shapeshifting master of darkness,   
Was asked to throw two fools into the distant future...   
Numbuh 4: Oi! Who are you calling a fool?!   
Emeraldeye: That's right! Get 'im!   
Aku: Before the first blow was even struck,   
*CHA-RIIIIP*   
Aku: I tore open in a portal in time!   
Aku grabs Numbuh 4 and Emeraldeye by their clothes.   
Aku: And threw them into the future!   
Umbreon: Ahem. Where their little tourney will take place.   
Numbuh 4/Emeraldeye: WHAT?!   
With a swift flick of the arm Aku throws Numbuh 4 and Emeraldeye into the swirling vortex, which soon closes.   
Umbreon: And now, they seek to return to the past, to... uh... erm... never mind. Thanks Aku, you may leave now. I heard Samurai Jack was heading for the local zombie-haunted graveyard.   
Aku: Zombie-haunted graveyard?!   
A smallish explosion, and Aku disappears.   
Umbreon: Sucker... 

**

Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. 

**

Chapter 9: When KND Attacks (Part IV) 

W.A.L.L.A.B.E.E. -- Warped Away, Lethally Lost, A Breakneck Experience, Eh? 

**The Team Eeveeon A.R.C.H.I.V.E. (A Regally Computerised Holder of Information, Very Efficient), Individual Division**

  
**Subject Identification Number:** 10   
**Subject Identity:** Emeraldeye   
**Other known Identities:** Numbuh 7   
**Nationality:** American   
**Appearance:** 5 feet 4 inches tall, skinny buildup,long yellow hair, hazel eyes   
**Known likes/interests:** Animals, computers, chocolate, writing, Kids Next Door, soda, hip-hop, television, drawing   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** Homework, being grounded, village people, mushrooms, vain people   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Making people laugh, drawing, writing, dancing   
**Known weaknesses:** Sugar, poetry, scallop allergy   
**Any other useful information:** None so far. 

**Subject Identification Number:** 14   
**Subject Identity:** Wallabee Beatles   
**Other known Identities:** Numbuh 4   
**Nationality:** Australian-American   
**Appearance:** 10-year-old, elliptical head, light skin, short-ish yellow hair, wears orange hooded shirt and   
**Known likes/interests:** The Kids Next Door, physical combat, Numbuh 3   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** The Delightful Children From Down The Lane, anything considered sissy and feminine   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Hand-to-hand combat   
**Known weaknesses:** Being headstrong and Numbuh 3 (We should note that at this point while Jolteon was keying in this information he got thumped on the head by a very angry Numbuh 4, resulting in a lightning storm.)   
**Any other useful information:** None so far, but rumours seem to state that he may have blood ties with one of the Delightful Children. See Operation TWINS written by Ookami No Shinpi. 

As Numbuh 4 and Emeraldeye travel through the portal they feel their bodies stretched into a similarity, flipped all about, and turned inside out for good measure. Someway or the other they separate on the journey. This part of the proceedings was put in the own words of Numbuh 4 and Emeraldeye as our video camera technology is not yet advanced enough to be able to record clearly events happening in the fifth dimension. Enough for science, let's get on with the show... 

With a very painful bump Numbuh 4 lands onto a sidewalk. Angrily he stands up and adjusts his hood.   
Numbuh 4: Damnit! Now how the hell am I supposed to find Emeraldeye in all this?!   
Grumbling, Numbuh 4 walks down the sidewalk, passing by many strange buildings and people -- oh, alright -- _living things_ when suddenly...   
*BUMP*   
Numbuh 4: Oi! Why don't you look where you're going?!   
The figure Numbuh 4 bumped into turns around slowly and glares at him menacingly. It is an old wizard with a long, white beard, his face wrinkled with time. He raises his gnarled fingers.   
Several members of the public gasp in shock.   
Sparks fly...   
***   
By the time Numbuh 4 gets his sense back he seems to have shrunk in size. For one thing the surroundings appeared larger than usual. And he found himself pecking the ground. _Pecking?_ he thought.   
Numbuh 4: What the **** is going on here?!   
At least, that was what he had intended to say. A series of clucks rose from his beak. Just as he was gathering himself together, he heard another explosion.   
Rushing over to see, he finds another confused chicken wearing the remains of a hat in the middle of the crater. Despite the fact that he is a natural blonde, he puts two and two together, and...   
Numbuh 4: Puk puk puk puk puk, AWWWWWK!!! (OI! YOU STUPID WIZARD, COME BACK HERE AND CHANGE ME BACK INTO A HUMAN!)   
Suddenly, a burly hand grabs Numbuh 4 by the neck.   
Numbuh 4: PAWK! (Ow! Hey, what the--)   
Captor: Ha, ha, ha! I know a good chicken when I see one.   
Trapped in a cage, what will Chicken, sorry, Numbuh 4 do now? 

Meanwhile, Emeraldeye is trying to look for Numbuh 4, when she hears the sound of disco dancing. She moves through a dark forest, until she discovers an entire crowd of teenagers dancing like there was no tomorrow.   
Emeraldeye: Whee! Disco dancing!   
As Emeraldeye starts to join the crowd, a strange figure stands behinds several loudspeakers and a CD player.   
DJ: Children of Akuuuuuu!   
Suddenly, the teenagers stop dancing, and their eyes begin glowing a dangerous crimson.   
Emeraldeye: What?   
DJ: Emeraldeye, is in the HOUUUUUUUSE!   
Several thousand pairs of frowning eyes gaze upon Emeraldeye as she feels less and less sure of herself.   
Emeraldeye: I think the party's over... EEP! 

At the same time, Numbuh 4 finds himself trapped inside a cage, which is slowly being lowered down into a strange looking arena. Around the arena is a crowd of roaring, shouting people, waving banknotes in their hands.   
Numbuh 4: Puk?   
He gazes in front of him, where another cage has already been lowered down, and slowly opening, revealing a robotic weevil.   
Numbuh 4: AWWWK! (ACCCK!)   
As the beetle bot zooms towards him, he delivers a few sharp kicks and scratches with his newfound claws.   
Numbuh 4: Puk puk puk puk puk! (Take THAT, Metalhead!)   
Suffering several gashes in its metal wings, the robotic insect dives for a very unsuccessful crash, or should we say SMASH, landing. The crowd cheers wildly. Money is being emptied into a basket, held by Numbuh 4's captor.   
Nubmuh 4: Puk puk puk? Puk puk, cock-a-doodle doo! (What the... Oh no! I'm a GLADIATOR chicken!)   
Commentator: It's time for the free-for-all melee round, folks!   
Numbuh 4 snaps out of his train of thought to find himself surrounded by a lethal lamprey, a sinister spider, a ravenous rat and an angry anaconda.   
Numbuh 4: *thinking* Bionic versus biotic -- I am so cooked! Where the hell is Emeraldeye, anyway? 

In the meantime, Emeraldeye was busy fighting off the mind-controlled teenagers.   
Emeraldeye: HEY! Acneface!   
A pimpled teenager, enraged, launches his fist at Emeraldeye and misses, hitting it against another girl's chest. She screams, grabs him by the collar, and throws him like a slingshot at Emeraldeye, who dodges. Kersmash goes a nearby loudspeaker.   
Emeraldeye: I'd better get outta here -- whoa!   
Emeraldeye finds herself pinned down, and receives several knuckle sandwiches from some other ravers.   
Emeraldeye: No thanks, I already ate!   
The pummeling teenagers stopped over a while, mulled over Emeraldeye's pun, giving her a chance to slip through. Weaving her way through loudspeakers and platforms she attempts to make a desperate escape, but couldn't dodge the lightstring lassoes fired by some more teenagers.   
Emeraldeye: Oh, crap. 

Just then, in the year 1 Million A.D....   
Larry3000: Our mission today takes us to the year 5219 A.D., on the Euro-American continent.   
Otto: Cool! It's Samurai Jack! He was the once responsible for defeating Aku, who in the year 1600 B.C. plunged the world into eternal darkness!   
Buck: Yeah? Well what do we have to do, help him find his sword?   
Larry3000: No... apparently he's behind his episode schedule!   
In a modernised city in the year 5219 A.D., however, Jack was busy fighting off some Mantoids, when...   
KERBLAM!   
Otto: Jack! What are you still doing in Episode V?!   
Larry3000: You're supposed to be in the Creature Combat Club right now in Episode XXVII!   
Jack: What?   
Buck: You heard the robot, now GIT!   
Buck drags Jack along with him, who is too surprised and confused to strike back. Larry keys in another bunch of coordinates, and the four blast off in a blaze of light.   
Space people: HEY! WHAT ABOUT US?! 

KERBLAM!   
Larry3000: We're in the middle of the city where our dear captor should be bringing Jack to the shops...   
Jack: Bringing me? But I thought you were bringing me...   
Suddenly, a well-clad person passes by -- it's Jack's should-have-been captor with Numbuh 4, but of course Jack and the Time Squad don't know that. On cue, the plump captor bumps into a familiar figure...   
Captor: Hey! Can't you see you almost bumped into my champion?   
The sparks begin to fly... *KRAKOW*   
Captor: Puk! Puk puk puk!   
Numbuh 4: Whoa... I thought I'd never get free from that coop. Damnit, I'm famished!   
Jack/Time Squad: Huh?!   
Larry3000: Well, I guess we'd better help this child obtain some nutrition... whoever he is.   
Back to Emeraldeye in her disco dilemma. Currently she seems a little, er, tied up...   
Emeraldeye: Damn, damn, damn! Where is that Numbuh 4 when you need 'im?   
She attempts to break free from her lightstring ropes, but fails. Just then...   
Numbuh 4: Unhand her, fiends!   
DJ: Children of Akuuuuuu! Samurai Jack, Numbuh 4 and Time Squad, are in the houuuuuuuuse!   
Emeraldeye: Alright, this is getting stupid.   
Numbuh 4: Oi, punk! Gimme that lightstring.   
Snatching a lightstring, Numbuh 4 thanks Lasso Lass for giving him a few lessons, and ropes the string onto an upstairs pipe.   
Numbuh 4: I always wanted to do this... OOOOOooooOOOOOOOHHHHH!   
Yelling like Tarzan, Numbuh 4 leaps down and rips Emeraldeye free from her bonds before cleanly leaping back to the same platform.   
Emeraldeye: Oh, thanks Numbuh 4! *kisses Numbuh 4, who blushes*   
Meanwhile, the Demonic DJ has already activated his loudspeaker robot, only to be thrashed upside-down by raver Jack. As the teenagers regain control of their minds, Jack says those famous words.   
Jack: You have once been pawns of Aku's wickedness, but now you are free. Return to your homes and never dance to this evil beat again.   
Buck: Well, mission accomplished. Let's go, gang.   
Numbuh 4: Don't forget us! (Let go of me, Emeraldeye, I can't breathe!) 

Back in Team Eeveeon headquarters...   
KERBLAM!   
Umbreon: So, I see you people made it back safely. And you brought visitors home, too!   
Larry3000: It's all part of the job. See you some other time, Team Eeveeon.   
KERBLAM!   
Vaporeon: Well, I guess that means this tournament is over.   
Flareon: What? They never even fought each other!   
Numbuh 4: It will be over for her if she pecks me again on the --   
*SMACK*   
Numbuh 4: That does it!   
*KLONK*   
Umbreon: There was no need to knock her out, Numbuh 4.   
Numbuh 4: Whoops. Sorry.   
Umbreon: And THAT concludes yet another exciting round of When KND Attacks. Stay tuned for the final round, Dynasty San versus Numbuh 5!   
Jolteon: Just as well. The Energy Orb Prison badly needs maintenance now.   
Umbreon: What?! You idiots didn't really chuck her in the --   
Just then, a huge clear ball of energy crashes through the door, with Dynasty San trapped inside.   
Espeon: I couldn't stop her. She just tongue-thrashed me and I lost my concentration.   
Umbreon: Oh, end this already. 


	11. Chapter 10: When KND Attacks: ABIGAIL

Jolteon: Iiiiiiiiiit's Team Eeveeon's Spot the Difference Competition! Starring, Eminem and Dynasty San! Tell the difference between these two audio recordings, and stand to win a fabulous prize! Ready? Here's recording number 1!   
Numbuh 1: Someone mention me?   
Vaporeon: Get down, you fool!   
Recording 1: But how dare to try to take what you didn't help me to get, you selfish [beep] I hope mother[beep]ing burn in hell for this [beep]!   
Jolteon: Recording number 2!   
Before Numbuh 2 can say anything Espeon and Flareon take the initiative and gag him.   
Recording 2: [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep] [beep]!   
Jolteon: We now allow a minute for the calls to come in. Remember, it's 1800-EEVEEON! That's 1800, 338, 3366.   
As Jolteon's words finish the auditorium bursts with numerous phone rings. Quickly he disappears backstage.   
Umbreon: Nice work, gang. I can safely say this will be one of our best chapters ever.   
Flareon: Don't mind us asking, but I thought you invited some more characters?   
Umbreon: Affirmative. Let them in, boys!   
Steven the Steelix and Ron the Aggron quickly lift up a steel door releasing a bunch of cute and furry animals.   
Vaporeon: Holy shit! It's not...!   
Espeon: It's the Happy Tree Friends!   
Umbreon: And here's the quick rundown for all you folks... Cuddles the rabbit, Giggles the chipmunk, Handy the carpenter beaver with his amputated front limbs, Lumpy the moose, Toothy the big-toothed beaver, Nutty the sugar-high squirrel, Petunia the sweet-smelling skunk, Sniffles the brainy anteater, Splendid the flying squirrel superhero, Flaky the dandruffed porcupine, The Mole with a mole, the funky Disco Bear, Russell the pirate sea otter, Mime the deer-miming bear, Lifty and Shifty the kleptomaniac raccoons, Cro-Marmot the marmot frozen in an ice block but still manages to move, Flippy the emotionally unstable war vet bear, and Pop and Cub, the father-son related family bears.   
By the time Umbreon finishes the list the rest of Team Eeveeon is sprawling over the floor as a result of the continuous singing of the Happy Tree Friends theme song.   
Umbreon: Frankly, I hope our contestants are made of sterner stuff. Seriously.   
WARNING: Happy Tree Friends Dot Com is a site of cartoon violence. Do not be fooled by its cute background, characters, and et cetera. It is NOT for little children or big babies. If you are sickened by the sight of a squashed rabbit on the road this is not for you, despite the fact that we are trying to keep the violence under PG-13. You have been warned!   
Umbreon: Enough, damnit, we've stalled way too long already. 

**

Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. 

**

Chapter 10: When KND Attacks (Part V) 

A.B.I.G.A.I.L. -- A Battle Increases Girls' Ability In Lethalisation 

**The Team Eeveeon A.R.C.H.I.V.E. (A Regally Computerised Holder of Information, Very Efficient), Individual Division**

  
**Subject Identification Number:** 10   
**Subject Identity:** Rhea Baugher   
**Other known Identities:** Dynasty San   
**Nationality:** Korean-American   
**Appearance:** Big-boned, 5'10", sixteen years old, long brown hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, tan line on left wrist (courtesy of the watch she wears nearly all the time), wears men's outfits (mostly black and red)   
**Known likes/interests:** DBZ, Marilyn Manson, The Rock, Numbuh 5, Panthro, Gambit, Vegeta, Writing fics, making and answering surveys, eating sushi, being a crazy little crackpot, Drama class   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** Alice in Chains, Miaka haters, The DCFDTL, the Lunataks, Snarfer, Chiaotzu, Vince McMahon, root beer, English and Lit classes, not getting enough to eat, counseling, wearing skirts   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Pretty smart, doesn't give up, can improvise when necessary, whipping things with her bull whip, doesn't take crap from anyone (At this point Flareon threw out the pile of Miltank poo he had in his paw and said, "Dang.")   
**Known weaknesses:** Shakespeare, chocolate and coffee, Professor X (creeps her out), easily distracted by music (especially Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit, and Marilyn Manson), doesn't know when to quit, gets a little crazy with her whip, prone to berserker rages   
**Any other useful information:** Chocolate covered coffee beans make her hyper. Or should we say, mega, ultra, super, poly, and every other big prefix ever existed. 

**Subject Identification Number:** 15   
**Subject Identity:** Abigail "Abby" Lincoln   
**Other known Identities:** Numbuh 5   
**Nationality:** French-Afro-American   
**Appearance:** 10-year-old, elliptical head, dark skin, braided black hair, sports blue shirt, red hat and golden ear-rings   
**Known likes/interests:** The Kids Next Door, reading   
**Known dislikes/non-interests:** The Delightful Children From Down The Lane, racism (especially Huckleberry Finn)   
**Known strengths/weapons:** Stealth tactics   
**Known weaknesses:** Not really that we know of, but she is willing to sacrifice herself for others, and rumour has it that she has a crush on Numbuh 1.   
**Any other useful information:** None so far, but it's reckoned she's one of the older ones of the group like Numbuh 1. 

The big battle between Numbuh 5 and D-San takes place in a calm meadow with clouds over the horizon. In fact, everything is so peaceful it couldn't get more peaceful.   
D-San: What hell, I thought I asked for violent!   
Umbreon: Alright, send 'em in!   
Through the T.A.K.E.O.F.F. the cast of Happy Tree Friends is beamed into the meadow. The Happy Tree Friends, Numbuh 5 and D-San spend a whole five minutes looking at each other, before the Happy Tree Friends begin the routine.   
HTF: La la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la... eeheeheewoohoo!   
D-San: I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe this is happening.   
Umbreon: Now we switch coordinates.   
*KAPEW*   
The scene switches to that of huge metropolis, courtesy of Team Eeveeon's S.I.M. (Sity In Minutes).   
Numbuh 5: This is more like it. At least those funny animals didn't follow us.   
HTF: La la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la... eeheeheewoohoo!   
Numbuh 5: Nuts!   
Suddenly, a certain idol drops from the sky and lands in front of Pop and Cub. The others all scream.   
D-San: What's with them?   
(Author's Note: In several HTF episodes there is this strange golden idol not much bigger than a human hand -- and bad luck always follows it. Back to the show.)   
D-San and Numbuh 5 stay stunned as a nearby car suddenly swerves and crashes -- bringing Pop and Cub along with it.   
Numbuh 5: I don't think the car was painted with THAT shade of red.   
D-San: Forget the damn car, take this!   
D-San reels her bull whip and smacks it next to Numbuh 5, who dodges the whip. The whip wraps around Giggles neck. D-San attempts to pull it back, but it stays stuck round Giggles. A barrage of swearing followed by a round of gagging, choking noises, D-San rips the whip off -- with Giggles head at the end.   
D-San: Shweet! This [beep]ing rocks!   
Numbuh 5: In the meantime, here's a gift from Numbuh 5 for you to sample!   
Grabbing Flaky by the arm, she flings him towards D-San, who neatly smacks the porcupine into a billboard with a stop sign she ripped off the pavement.   
D-San: I'm only borrowing it! Take this, Numbuh 5!   
A barrage of whipping ensues. Unarmed, Numbuh 5 is forced to fling Happy Tree Friend after Happy Tree Friend in order to prevent the whip from mutilating her. The result is that D-San's clothes begins to be matted with a curious red liquid.   
D-San: Damnit, I shouldn't have worn black today!   
Numbuh 5: Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Oh, and sorry!   
Meanwhile, as the violence continues on, Flippy the war vet's emotional unstability begins to spark off. Gnashing his teeth with obvious anger, he lunges himself at Numbuh 5 and grabs her by the arm.   
Numbuh 5: Get off me!   
Numbuh 5 struggles with the insane bear before flinging him through a nearby window.   
Numbuh 5: Sorry!   
By the time Numbuh 5 has finished all her "ammunition" the entire street is in absolute ruins. Cars and other assorted vehicles found themselves stuck in several windows, lamp posts and signposts were badly bent all over, and the entire setting is bathed in a somewhat tasteful reddish colour. Needless to say that in the proceedings of the battle there is animal all over the floor.   
Numbuh 5: Aw, shoot! Time to get a new perspective!   
Leaping up upon a few wrecked cars, Numbuh 5 grabs a handy wheel and rolls it towards D-San, who is a nanosecond too slow to whip the rolling rubber into minced wheel, and gets bulldozed. Groaning, D-San gets up and gives Numbuh 5 the finger before realising Numbuh 5 had disarmed her of her whip.   
D-San: Now you're getting it you mother[beep]er!   
Crashing into a nearby confectionery store, D-San grabs a nearby packet of chocolate covered coffee beans and gulps down the lot, followed by several Mars Bars, Double Deckers, Yorkies, Toblerones and M & Ms. 

Eminem: Someone mentioned me?   
Espeon: He said M & Ms, not Eminem! 

By the time D-San has finished the entire chocolate supply she is feeling extremely hyper (apparently she has a very high metabolism rate) and charges out of the store and rips another stop sign off the pavement.   
D-San: EAT METAL NUMBUH 5!   
Numbuh 5 quickly reaches for a manhole cover and throws it like a Frisbee at the raging D-San, who smacks it back at her with a skilful swipe. Unfortunately, the manhole cover slashes Numbuh 5 on the knee leaving a burn mark on her skin. Instinctively Numbuh 5 hops down into the manhole, grabs some electrical main wires, pops back up and flings the fizzling wires at D-San. Naturally, D-San gets severely shocked to the core and soon her smouldering body is lying on the street.   
Numbuh 5: D-San?   
From beneath a pile of rubble D-San explodes, beginning to go on a raging charge. Thinking fast, Numbuh 5 runs into a CD shop, comes back out armed with -- surprise, surprise -- CDs, and throws them at D-San.   
D-San: What the... woot woot! An autographed Marilyn Manson CD! Shweet!   
Taking the chance, Numbuh 5 decides to slip away. 

Umbreon: So much for the Happy Tree Friends. Even you guys were sterner than them! Guys? Guys?   
A door opens with the rest of Team Eeveeon lurching in.   
Umbreon: Don't tell me you spent the entire past hour throwing up?!   
Jolteon: Arrggg... Apparently... 

Meanwhile, D-San has relocated her whip, and decides to go on the search for Numbuh 5. Climbing over the buildings, she finally spots Numbuh 5 creeping down an alley.   
D-San: Squalls from above!   
Numbuh 5: Oh, crap!   
Numbuh 5 immediately brings a garbage can over where D-San neatly lands in.   
D-San: Now you've done it you sonofa[beep]ing mother[beep]ing asshole!   
Slashing her whip all over the place, Numbuh 5 tries her best to dodge, but still can't escape the power and might of D-San's bull whip. By the time D-San actually stops Numbuh 5 is kind of a sorry sight. One of her shirt sleeves has been torn off, she lost her right shoe and there are numerous slash marks all over her limbs, coming in shades of pink and red. Crowning it all is her straggled hair, her braids liberated and her cap slashed to a thousand pieces.   
Numbuh 5: No. One. Ever. Messes. With. Numbuh. 5's. CAP!!!!   
Releasing a whole part of herself never seen before, Numbuh 5 lunges forward, and begins to thrash D-San upside-down.   
*WHOMP* *BIFF* *SMACK* *PWOM* *SPLAT*   
Numbuh 5: This is for smacking Numbuh 5 with that manhole cover!   
*KICK* *WHACK* *PLONK* *BWISH* *POW*   
Numbuh 5: This is for mussing up Numbuh 5's gear!   
*KERPOW* *PIFF* *SMASH* *PENG* *BOOM*   
Numbuh 5: And *SLAP* this *PUNCH* is *KERSMASH* destroying *RABADOOM* Numbuh *GWOK* 5's *PUMMEL* CAP!!!   
Seething, Numbuh 5 lands on the floor with strict stealth. D-San crashes into a pile of garbage, and after a five minute pause lifts up a piece of tissue paper and waves it. 

Umbreon: And THAT, folks, brings us the end to When KND Attacks. Thank you for your kind attention. Tune in the last chapter, yes, the official big finale, of Operation: WARPED.   
Flareon: Just one question.   
Vaporeon: What happened to the Happy Tree Friend idol?   
Jolteon: What the -- !   
Espeon: Look! LOOK!   
Team Eeveeon looks round to see the idol sitting right in the middle of the room's control panel.   
Team Eeveeon: FLIPPING HECK!   
KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! 


	12. Chapter 11: The Birthday Bash Finale

Umbreon: Control Tower to AR1, Control Tower to AR1. Do you read me? Over.   
Jolteon: AR1 to Control Tower. Receiving you loud and clear. Over.   
Umbreon: Control Tower to AR1, you are clear to dock in Chute 5 within the next five minutes. Over.   
Jolteon: Thanks, Umbreon. Over and out!   
Meanwhile, in the passengers' seats...   
Emeraldeye: Any idea why we're here?   
Ookami No Shinpi: No idea, but I think Jolteon mentioned winning some competition, or something.   
Zenith: Really? Nice!   
Meanwhile, Dynasty San and Jessie A are having an argument about some topic that we do not know of. What we do know is that Jessie A gives D-San the finger, and D-San threatens to kick Jessie A upside-down.   
Jolteon: This is your captain Jolteon speaking. We are now entering Team Eeveeon Headquarters Transport Dock 5. Please fasten your seatbelts. 

** Operation W.A.R.P.E.D. **

Chapter 11: The Birthday Bash Finale 

Jolteon: Right, ladies and gentleman. If you would step this way...   
Jolteon leads the five teenagers into Team Eeveeon's main lounge. They gape in shock. The entire of the lounge is decorated like that of a birthday party, and there is a huge banner saying "Happy Birthday Umbreon and Teen Titans".   
D-San: Ah... enlightenment.   
Zenith: So that's why Umbreon invited us!   
Ookami No Shinpi: And the other Cartoon Cartoon characters, apparently...   
Jessie A: Besides the Teen Titans obviously.   
Jolteon: Simple, innit? Umbreon got a cartoon on America's birthday, and America got a cartoon on his birthday.   
Emeraldeye: So why wasn't there a chapter for that?   
Jolteon: Time constraints. You understand.   
Umbreon: Ladies, gentlemen, and other cartoon indeterminates, may I have your attention please.   
Jessie A gives Umbreon puppy eyes.   
Umbreon: No, the real Slim Shady is not going to stand up...   
Suddenly, the ceiling crashes in with a resounding KERRACK!   
Umbreon: What in hell?   
DCFDTL: Prepare for you doom, Team Eeveeon and Kids Next Door!   
Numbuh 5: Aw, man, it's the R.R.I.D.M. again.   
DCFDTL: Not anymore it's not! It's the R.R.R.I.D.M!   
Numbuh 2: What, the Really Really Really Idiotic Dork Machine?   
Numbuh 4: The only problem is, Delightful Dorks, it's not just us.   
DCFDTL: You appear to be right, Wallabee. And, apparently, it's not just the five of us either!   
The hatchway opens and out pops the various villains of the other Cartoon Cartoon characters.   
I.M. Weasel: This is getting stupid.   
I.R. Baboon: You talking to I.R.?   
Chicken: Forget the introductions let's plow into them!   
A loud series of caterwauling ensues as all the cartoon characters launch themselves on each of their adversaries. Meanwhile... 

Marco: What do you think is going up there, Harry ol' buddy?   
Harry: No idea, but it's probably one of Umbreon's fancy ideas...   
Marco and Harry suddenly stop as the Amoeba Boys crash out of an external window.   
Marco: I think we'd better check on them.   
Harry: Right.   
Marco: Oh yeah, and bring reinforcements, too. 

Meanwhile, back in the main lounge, the Teen Titans are performing their theme song.   
Teen Titans: T-E-E-N, T-I-T, A-N-S! Teen Titans! Go go!   
Vaporeon: THAT'S their theme song?!   
Flareon: You know, for an interesting cartoon, they have a kinda lame theme song.   
Espeon: I think I prefer the KND guitar solo!   
Grandma Stuffum: Oh dear! So many skinny children! You need to eat!   
Jolteon: Flipping heck, not again!   
As the food comes to life it flings itself into the rejecting mouths of the Cartoon Cartoon Heroes, Team Eeveeon and the Teen Titans.   
Chicken: I wanted pork butts NOT pork legs!   
Numbuh 3: Oh... my belly hurts...   
Mike: Alright, that does it! FOOD FIGHT!   
Team Eeveeon, the Teen Titans begin charging at the marauding edibles and start flinging them all over the place.   
Lu: The Royal Princess does not --   
SPLAT!   
Lu: Lemme at 'em!   
Eddy: What's with you Ed? Throw the damn food!   
Ed: I can't. My mother says I can't fight girls.   
Edd: What about the guys?   
Ed: Oh yeah.   
Ed decisively throws a pile of spinach at the advancing Red Guy.   
Dexter: Umbreon! Do you have any salt?   
Umbreon: Lots of it.   
Dexter: Could you please get it?   
Umbreon: Espeon -- the salt-shakers!   
Espeon nods as she uses her psychic powers and throws a salt-shaker to everyone of the Cartoon Cartoon heroes.   
Dexter: Everybody SHAKE!   
Everybody responds as they continuously shake their salt-shakers all over the advancing food and dry them out, immobilising them.   
Gizmo: Gah... Machine Guns!   
From the criminal whizkid's back fires a storm of bullets, striking anyone unlucky enough to get hit.   
Robot Jones: Luckily, I am able to withstand such assaults, due to my -- CCCT!   
Robot Jones stops, stunned as a very familiar diskette shoots into his disk drive.   
Denny: Perform your work my preeeeecious!   
Robot Jones ambles around madly as everyone tries to get out of his way.   
Blossom: Alright, girls -- Trident formation!   
Jolteon: You heard the leader, Trident Strike attack!   
The Powerpuff Girls fly into the form of three arrows joined together in a triangle. Jolteon, Vaporeon and Flareon fire attacks of electricity, ice and fire. The blast happens to knock the R.R.R.I.D.M. down, making it break apart over the floor.   
DCFDTL: Dear, dear, dear. That wasn't very nice.   
D-San: Wasn't meant to be! Eat whip!   
Jessie A: Chew baseball bat!   
Him: Omigosh, I'm so scared... NOT!   
Him blasts his evil laser and knocks D-San and Jessie A to the ground. Meanwhile, the Kids Next Door are taking on Stickybeard and his crew, Cow and Chicken are bashing up the Gang Green Gang, I.M. Weasel is busy karate-kicking the Yogmans, Team Eeveeon is battling Mojo Jojo, Princess, Fuzzy Lumpkins and Roach Coach, and blah blah blah, sob sob sob.   
Toilenator: Need a tissue?   
Common Cold: No thanks, just keep the orange juice away.   
Jinx: Super Disruption!   
Ookami No Shinpi: Look behind you!   
Jinx: Huh?   
Ookami No Shinpi cleanly slips under Jinx's legs and escapes.   
Jinx: Why, you, you, you...   
Mr. Fibbs: I think these filthy children should be punished, Mr. Winks.   
Mr. Winks: Definitely, Mr. Fibbs.   
The two adults suddenly rise in their mechanical lifeguard's chair.   
Robin: Oh god, is that the best they can do?   
Beast Boy: Watch me! Gorilla Smash!   
Changing into a gorilla, Beast Boy lifts his fists, and brings them down with authority, smashing the chair into firewood. Meanwhile, Johnny Bravo is trying to chat up Dr. Major Ghastly and gets a smack on the face.   
Hector ConCarne: I have you now, you stinking fish!   
Suddenly Billy pops up, grabs Cod Commando, stuffs him into his mouth and chews the aquatic fighter into mere flesh, scales and bones.   
Hector ConCarne: Gee, why didn't I think of that?   
Mandy: Because you're just a brain.   
Cow, in the meantime, has popped herself into a nearby mailbox. Don't ask us why we put one there.   
Cow: Supercow! (Followed by some Spanish jargon we do not bother to decipher. She does beat up The Red Guy pretty badly, though, and she doesn't fly away with Chicken in her mouth.)   
In the meantime, Numbuh 3 has been kind enough to extract the diskette from Robot Jones, and he immediately goes and knuckles the Yogmans. Edd smashes Fuzzy Lumpkins with his own banjo, and the Powerpuff Girls are battling off the Rowdyruff Boys, again, and this time kissing doesn't seem to work. Suddenly...   
Marco: Umbreon, sir! You okay?   
Umbreon: Marco! About time! Let's repel these intruders!   
Marco: Everybody ready? Let's rumble!   
With the new addition of the Pokemon army the good guys begin to really thrash up their opponents.   
Knightbrace: Retainer boomerang, don't fail me now!   
Mary: Not so fast! Bonemerang!   
The retainer and bone clash in mid-air. Both boomerangs come sailing back to Knightbrace, and smash him in the kisser. General Skarr leaps up, grabs him back the neck and flings him against the wall, helped by Zenith.   
Ken: Time to turn up the heat! Fire Punch cum Sky Uppercut!   
Ken the Blaziken launches his fiery fist at Plasmus, who shoots up into the air in a ball of sludge. Ken fires a Fire Blast for an impressive fireworks display.   
D-San/Jessie A/Emeraldeye: BANZAI!   
Leaping unto the Rowdyruff Boys, the three female ex-contestants constrain the boys and pinch them all over.   
Sheep: Baa! Baa baa baa!   
Ross: Affirmative, Sheep!   
Ross the Ampharos gives General Specific and company a thorough shocking.   
Numbuh 5: How about eating a bit of your own dinner for a change!   
Liver and Onions find themselves in a very difficult position as they try and wriggle free from Grandma Stuffum's jaws.   
Canker sisters: AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!   
Aided by Factor the Aerodactyl, Midge the Pidgeot and Maria the Altaria the three Eds drop cannonball-size-and-texture jawbreakers on their most wanted adversaries.   
Umbreon: Alright, everybody! It's time for the ultimate combination JUDGEMENT DAY!   
As if Umbreon just rang a bell, everyone lifted their hands, paws, et cetera into the air, which began glowing a very, very, very, bright white.   
All Pokemon: Hyper Beam!   
Jessie A: Cannon Blaster Attack!   
Robin: Electric Disk Toss!   
Starfire: Starbolt Barrage!   
Raven: Summon Projectiles!   
Cyborg: Sonic Cannon!   
Beast Boy: Pterodactyl Assault!   
All the others simply focus whatever energy they can possibly muster, and by that time a very powerful globe of crystal white was formed.   
Umbreon: On my count... fire!   
The globe was released, lunging itself towards the villains.   
Villains: EEEEEEEEEEP!   
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRBOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!   
Screaming, shouting, and whatever noises, the villains fly over the horizon. Whether or not they make it in one piece, or they break the sound barrier, or if they leave the field of Earth's gravity, we don't know. A wild series of cheering is heard from Team Eeveeon Headquarters, followed by the birthday song, and then... 

Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
Aaaaaaaa...   
La, la la, la, la la, la, la la, la la la la la la la!   
La, la la, la, la la, la, la la, la la la la la la la! Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
La, la, la la la la la --   
Bubbles: Whee!   
Chicken: Is that it?   
Dexter: No, that is not it!   
Aaaaaaaa...   
Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
La, la, la la la la la!   
Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
La, la, la la la la la!   
Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
Cartoon Cartoon! *Fridays!*   
La, la, la la la la la!   
Johnny Bravo: Watch the hair, man...   
Everyone: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! 

Umbreon: We thank you all who have been bearing with us for the entire duration of this fic from April. If it wasn't for your support, we never would have come this far, indeed.   
Jolteon: Tune in next time, for the exciting, mind-boggling, heart-rending, soul-shattering, et cetera-ing END CREDITS!   
*crickets chirp* 


	13. End Credits

Umbreon: No, there's not going to be a bold for this chapter. This is only the credits, it don't need no bolded title with flashing lights and all.   
Jolteon: Was there ever a chapter with flashing lights?   
Umbreon: Hmmm... you've got a point there. 

END CREDITS

**CARTOON KAISERS:**   
Codename: Kids Next Door (of which without this fic would never have been)   
Pokemon (of which without we would never have been. Team Eeveeon that is. Jessie too for happily being kicked by Lurch in the bum.)   
Samurai Jack, Aku and the Dome of Doom   
Time Squad   
Happy Tree Friends   
Courage the Cowardly Dog   
Teen Titans   
Yogi Bear and Booboo Bear   
Tom and Jerry   
The Powerpuff Girls (especially to the Amoeba Boys and Mojo Jojo. We appreciate how you are subjected to defenestration and being absolute doodoo brains.)   
Cow & Chicken   
I.M. Weasel and I.R. Baboon   
Ed, Edd and Eddy   
Dexter   
Lu   
Robot Jones, Lenny and Denny Yogman   
Grim & Evil   
Johnny Bravo   
Lurch   
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles   
Bart Simpson   
The captain from Spongebob Squarepants   
The Teletubbies (Sorry to all you mature audiences out there, but we had to include them. Thanks to them the possibility of us suffering permanent brain damage due to Numbuh 3's constant Rainbow Monkey rabblings was eliminated.)   
Bob the Builder (Another one we apologise for including, but we needed him for target practice.) 

**VALIANT VIEWERS AND REVIEWERS:** (in order of reviewing)   
Neosun7   
Orient Ice   
DarkxKukixSanban   
Dynasty San   
TJ Rose   
Husky/Washu   
Numbuh 6   
Cybertoy00   
Mashi the Winged Kitty Girl (oh, alright, Mashi the Winged Kitty Girl/Sora-and-Stitchy/Chili Vampire Sora. Sorry for not putting you in the fic.)   
Venus   
Numbah 7/Emeraldeye   
Ookami No Shinpi   
Carmen (We apologise for being unable to let you fight Numbuh 1 in mortal combat, but Ookami No Shinpi got him first.)   
Numbuh 12   
Dark Rebel Master 

**KNIGHTS OF THE ORDER OF THE SPECIAL THANKS TO:**   
Linkin Park (well, duh.)   
Eminem   
Chicken Run (...and kiss your bum goodbye! Thanks Fetcher.)   
Burger King (oh whoopee. Wouldn't mind getting doused over by some of those weapons)   
Reader's Digest   
Anger Management (Thanks to you Team Eeveeon's meals have never been the same again.)   
Braque the Regirock, Kelvin the Regice, Slade the Registeel, Raymond the Rayquaza, Marco the Machamp, Harry the Hariyama, Carmen the Camerupt, Prima the Primeape, Madison the Medicham, Jill the Jynx, Ron the Aggron, Antonio the Dodrio, Mary the Marowak, Ken the Blaziken, Ross the Ampharos, Factor the Aerodactyl, Midge the Pidgeot and Maria the Altaria (For being there for us when we weren't available. We couldn't have gotten the headquarters running without you.)   
My computer and TV (of which NONE, I repeat ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NONE of this could have been possible without them either.) 

Umbreon: And so we end our first ever Kids Next Door fanfic with another big thank you for all those who helped us in one way or another. Arigato!   
Vaporeon: For the next round of side-splitting humour (Operation: E.R.A.D.I.K.A.T.E. is taken down for revising) we need another FIVE MORE APPLICANTS!   
Jolteon: All you need to do is to give us your data, pick a Numbuh, and pick one of us!   
Espeon: Umbreon had the bright idea that, since we let you torture the Kids Next Door, and we let the Kids Next Door torture you, he decided to let YOU ALL torture US instead.   
Umbreon: You can do all sorts of crazy things when you're eccentric and inspired you know.   
Flareon: Was that supposed to be an understatement?   
Umbreon: Anyway, once again, apply for our next operation and, THANKS EVERYBODY!   
Team Eeveeon: END! 

Bart Simpson: So long, suckers. 


End file.
